Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Parallel Construction, 2

Last night we had our monthly ACFW chapter meeting. I am president of this wonderfully supportive and fast-growing group. We had eighteen people in attendance last night, most of whom are members. Wow! It was really good to see so many. How good God is!

Okay, today let’s look at the examples I gave yesterday and see why they are faulty and what to do to fix them.

The lecture was long, a bore, and uninspiring.
Long and uninspiring are adjectives; bore is a noun. In a series like this, the words need to be the same part of speech in order to be parallel. So changing the misfit word is all that’s needed: The lecture was long, boring, and uninspiring.

Planning a surprise party calls for organizing, scheduling, and cunning.
Again the problem is within the series. The first two words, organizing and scheduling are gerunds. (That’s a word that looks like an –ing verb but acts as a noun.) Cunning is a straightforward noun, since there is no verb “to cunn.” So we need to look for another verb that is similar in meaning and turn it into a gerund to match the other two, or we need to change the gerunds to straight nouns. Two possible solutions for this (and there could be more, depending on your choice of words) are: Planning a surprise party calls for organizing, scheduling, and scheming. OR Planning a surprise party calls for organization, cunning, and scheduling skills.

He had always preferred talking to listening, and to give rather than to take direction.
Talking and listening are gerunds; to give and to take are infinitives (to + verb = the basic verb form). Because this is a comparison, we need to either make these all infinitives (which makes the sentence even more awkward) or change the infinitives to gerunds. So: He had always preferred talking to listening, and giving rather than taking direction.

Her responsibilities were the management of the PR department and to attend trade shows.
Again this is dealing with parts of speech. The first responsibility listed is a noun (management), the second one is an infinitive (to attend), So two ways to fix this one: Her responsibilities were to manage the PR department and to attend trade shows. OR Her responsibilities were the management of the PR department and attendance at trade shows.

A computerized database index needs to be reorganized when it has become fragmented, or to correct the skewing of values.
The focus of what is happening changes from the database index to what the person operating it should do. There aren’t two subjects in this sentence, only one: the database index. So passive voice is appropriate here. A computerized database index needs to be reorganized when it has become fragmented or when its values have become skewed.

She told him to get to the hotel by six o’clock, that he should check with the concierge for messages, leave his luggage at the front desk, and to wait for her in the lobby.
These are phrases in a series, and the wording must be the same for each. So try: She told him to get to the hotel by six o’clock, check with the concierge for messages, leave his luggage at the front desk, and wait for her in the lobby. OR She told him to get to the hotel by six o’clock, to check with the concierge for messages, to leave his luggage at the front desk, and to wait for her in the lobby.


Tomorrow we’ll have a book review and get back to some more examples of faulty parallelism on Thursday.

Daily Bible reading: Genesis 36–38, Romans 12

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