Today we will finish our discussion on parallel construction.
*Go to the “Options” menu to change the display colors, fonts, type size, set predefined breaks in your program or open the dictionary.
The verb to change only fits the first three items in this series. Since the infinitive form is used, the next two verbs need to have the infinitive as well. And because of the commas in the series, we’ll need to separate the three verb phrases with semicolons—an acceptable use of semicolons to avoid confusion. Go to the “Options menu to change the display colors, fonts, type size; to set predefined breaks in your program; or to open the dictionary.
Customers may either pick up the merchandise themselves, or the company will deliver it for a small fee.
The word either refers to the customer, implying a choice. But only one choice is given since the subject changes to the company in the second part of the sentence. When using either/or you can check parallelism by using only the second part of the sentence: Customers may either the company will deliver it for a small fee. Okay, that doesn’t make sense *smile*, so let’s try a couple of different options for correcting the problem: Customers may either pick up the merchandise themselves or have it delivered for a small fee. OR Either customers may pick up the merchandise themselves, or the company will deliver it for a small fee.
He not only shoveled the walkway, but also the stairs and balcony.
This is a very common mistake I see often in editing or correcting high school English essays (which I don’t do anymore. *smile*). The contrasted items that come after not only have to be parallel or we end up with this kind of awkward construction. When you put not only before the verb it sets the reader up for another action (i.e. He not only shoveled the walkway, but also salted it.) When the not only/but also combination is used, put not only before the first of the items being contrasted. So if you’re contrasting two actions, put not only before the first action, but also before the second (see example above); if there’s only one action but two objects, put the not only before the first object, but also before the second. He shoveled not only the walkway, but also the stairs and balcony.
The bankruptcy proceedings involved accountants, litigation experts, tax and corporate lawyers.
The word tax is left hanging here. It does describe the type of lawyer used in this bankruptcy proceeding. Grammatically the sentence would read: The bankruptcy proceedings involved accountants, litigation experts, and tax. Okay, that obviously doesn’t work. Yes, we would ordinarily say tax and corporate lawyers if those are the only people being referred to. But since that is not the case in this sentence and the and implies the last element of a series is corporate lawyers, we’ve got to rewrite this sentence. Try either: The bankruptcy proceedings involved accountants, litigation experts, tax lawyers, and corporate lawyers. OR The bankruptcy proceedings involved accountants, litigation experts, and tax and corporate lawyers.
The stocky and self-confessed plagiarist showed no emotion as the charges against him were read out in court.
Okay, the explanation as to why this isn’t parallel is way out there, even for me! So here’s what the author gives as an explanation: “The adjectives stocky and self-confessed are not equivalent. Stocky can stand alone: A person can simple be described as stocky, the way he or she can be described as dark haired, athletic, grouchy, left-handed, etc. But one cannot be simply “self-confessed”: By definition, one has to be a self-confessed something—a drug dealer, an adulterer, a chocoholic. Self-confessed is thus tied to the noun that follows, and the string self-confessed plagiarist effectively become a unit, leaving stocky without anything to latch onto. Grammatically, it is as if the sentence read The stocky and plagiarist showed no emotion, which clearly doesn’t work. Removal of the and solves the problem, since stocky then becomes a modifier of the unit self-confessed plagiarist.” (But don’t put a comma between stocky and self-confessed in the string of adjectives because that would create the same problem. The "need" to put a comma in there is what tripped me up on this sentence.) So here is the corrected version: The stocky self-confessed plagiarist showed no emotion as the charges against him were read out in court.
The text editing program enables you to do the following:
—change the background color of your screen
—to select different fonts
—cutting and pasting text
—creation of complex layouts.
The items in a list must be written the same way to be parallel. Also since each element must mesh with the lead-in. Each element with the lead-in must form a coherent sentence. So try the following:
The text editing program enables you to do the following:
—change the background color of your screen
—select different fonts
—cut and paste text
—create complex layouts.
(*I’m taking these examples from Grammatically Correct by Anne Stillman.)
I hope that this presentation of parallel construction helps you create better sentences that read smoothly and give the right meaning to your readers.
If you have a suggestion for another grammar topic for me to cover, please leave a comment.
Daily Bible reading: Tuesday, February 26—Exodus 23–24; 2 Thessalonians 2
Showing posts with label Parallel construction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parallel construction. Show all posts
Monday, February 25, 2008
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Parallel Construction, 3
For the preliminary discussion and examples on this topic, please go to these links:
http://marjorievawter.blogspot.com/2008/01/parallel-construction-1.html and http://marjorievawter.blogspot.com/2008/01/parallel-construction-2.html
Quick review: Faulty parallelism is a clumsy sentence or paragraph that doesn’t mesh with the words, phrases, or sentences around it. Grammatically the writer is jumping from one type of construction to another.
We’ve already looked at several examples of faulty construction and the reasons they were faulty. Let’s look at a few more today*:
The consultant objected to the proposal, saying that the costs would be exorbitant and because the training facilities were insufficient.
Simple fix: The word because is the problem here. It doesn’t match the first clause beginning with that. The sentence can be reworded in two ways: The consultant objected to the proposal, saying that the costs would be exorbitant and that the training facilities were insufficient. Or The consultant objected to the proposal, saying that the costs would be exorbitant and the training facilities were insufficient. (The second that is inferred and therefore not necessary, so the second sentence is preferred.)
It may be necessary to either add or subtract items from this list.
Add needs a different preposition following it. We can’t add from a list, but we can add to it. So . . . It may be necessary to either add to or subtract items from this list.
Courses are offered in spring, summer, and in fall.
The same preposition works for all three seasons: in spring, in summer, and in fall. So either add it to all the elements in the series, or use it once at the beginning of the series: in spring, summer, and fall. The second way is preferred for tighter writing. *smile*
The revised plan called for lower salaries, operating budgets, and longer hours.
Here’s another sentence that can be fixed in one of two ways. The way the sentence is now, it’s hard to tell if the adjective lower is also referring to the operating budgets or not, since hours has a different adjective. Two ways to fix the sentence with lower as the adjective for the first two elements: The revised plan called for lower salaries, operating budgets, and longer hours. Or The revised plan called for lower salaries and operating budgets, and longer hours.
However if another adjective is meant, then try revising this sentence like this: The revised plan called for lower salaries, better operating budgets, and longer hours.
Writers who work on a freelance basis don’t get steady paychecks, but one has the advantage of extra tax breaks.
The nouns in this sentence aren’t parallel: plural writers to singular one. Try: Writers who work on a freelance basis don’t get steady paychecks, but they have the advantage of extra tax breaks. Or As a freelance writer, one doesn’t get steady paychecks, but one has the advantage of extra tax breaks.
Participants should sign in by noon and pick up your registration materials at the front desk.
This sentence switches from third person point of view to second person. So change it so both portions use the same POV. Participants should sign in by noon and pick up their registration materials at the front desk. Or Sign in by noon and pick up your registration materials at the front desk.
*I’m taking these examples from Grammatically Correct by Anne Stillman.
I’ll have six more examples and explanations to finish up our discussion one day next week.
Daily Bible reading: Isaiah 41–42; Mark 10:32–52
http://marjorievawter.blogspot.com/2008/01/parallel-construction-1.html and http://marjorievawter.blogspot.com/2008/01/parallel-construction-2.html
Quick review: Faulty parallelism is a clumsy sentence or paragraph that doesn’t mesh with the words, phrases, or sentences around it. Grammatically the writer is jumping from one type of construction to another.
We’ve already looked at several examples of faulty construction and the reasons they were faulty. Let’s look at a few more today*:
The consultant objected to the proposal, saying that the costs would be exorbitant and because the training facilities were insufficient.
Simple fix: The word because is the problem here. It doesn’t match the first clause beginning with that. The sentence can be reworded in two ways: The consultant objected to the proposal, saying that the costs would be exorbitant and that the training facilities were insufficient. Or The consultant objected to the proposal, saying that the costs would be exorbitant and the training facilities were insufficient. (The second that is inferred and therefore not necessary, so the second sentence is preferred.)
It may be necessary to either add or subtract items from this list.
Add needs a different preposition following it. We can’t add from a list, but we can add to it. So . . . It may be necessary to either add to or subtract items from this list.
Courses are offered in spring, summer, and in fall.
The same preposition works for all three seasons: in spring, in summer, and in fall. So either add it to all the elements in the series, or use it once at the beginning of the series: in spring, summer, and fall. The second way is preferred for tighter writing. *smile*
The revised plan called for lower salaries, operating budgets, and longer hours.
Here’s another sentence that can be fixed in one of two ways. The way the sentence is now, it’s hard to tell if the adjective lower is also referring to the operating budgets or not, since hours has a different adjective. Two ways to fix the sentence with lower as the adjective for the first two elements: The revised plan called for lower salaries, operating budgets, and longer hours. Or The revised plan called for lower salaries and operating budgets, and longer hours.
However if another adjective is meant, then try revising this sentence like this: The revised plan called for lower salaries, better operating budgets, and longer hours.
Writers who work on a freelance basis don’t get steady paychecks, but one has the advantage of extra tax breaks.
The nouns in this sentence aren’t parallel: plural writers to singular one. Try: Writers who work on a freelance basis don’t get steady paychecks, but they have the advantage of extra tax breaks. Or As a freelance writer, one doesn’t get steady paychecks, but one has the advantage of extra tax breaks.
Participants should sign in by noon and pick up your registration materials at the front desk.
This sentence switches from third person point of view to second person. So change it so both portions use the same POV. Participants should sign in by noon and pick up their registration materials at the front desk. Or Sign in by noon and pick up your registration materials at the front desk.
*I’m taking these examples from Grammatically Correct by Anne Stillman.
I’ll have six more examples and explanations to finish up our discussion one day next week.
Daily Bible reading: Isaiah 41–42; Mark 10:32–52
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Parallel Construction, 2
Last night we had our monthly ACFW chapter meeting. I am president of this wonderfully supportive and fast-growing group. We had eighteen people in attendance last night, most of whom are members. Wow! It was really good to see so many. How good God is!
Okay, today let’s look at the examples I gave yesterday and see why they are faulty and what to do to fix them.
The lecture was long, a bore, and uninspiring.
Long and uninspiring are adjectives; bore is a noun. In a series like this, the words need to be the same part of speech in order to be parallel. So changing the misfit word is all that’s needed: The lecture was long, boring, and uninspiring.
Planning a surprise party calls for organizing, scheduling, and cunning.
Again the problem is within the series. The first two words, organizing and scheduling are gerunds. (That’s a word that looks like an –ing verb but acts as a noun.) Cunning is a straightforward noun, since there is no verb “to cunn.” So we need to look for another verb that is similar in meaning and turn it into a gerund to match the other two, or we need to change the gerunds to straight nouns. Two possible solutions for this (and there could be more, depending on your choice of words) are: Planning a surprise party calls for organizing, scheduling, and scheming. OR Planning a surprise party calls for organization, cunning, and scheduling skills.
He had always preferred talking to listening, and to give rather than to take direction.
Talking and listening are gerunds; to give and to take are infinitives (to + verb = the basic verb form). Because this is a comparison, we need to either make these all infinitives (which makes the sentence even more awkward) or change the infinitives to gerunds. So: He had always preferred talking to listening, and giving rather than taking direction.
Her responsibilities were the management of the PR department and to attend trade shows.
Again this is dealing with parts of speech. The first responsibility listed is a noun (management), the second one is an infinitive (to attend), So two ways to fix this one: Her responsibilities were to manage the PR department and to attend trade shows. OR Her responsibilities were the management of the PR department and attendance at trade shows.
A computerized database index needs to be reorganized when it has become fragmented, or to correct the skewing of values.
The focus of what is happening changes from the database index to what the person operating it should do. There aren’t two subjects in this sentence, only one: the database index. So passive voice is appropriate here. A computerized database index needs to be reorganized when it has become fragmented or when its values have become skewed.
She told him to get to the hotel by six o’clock, that he should check with the concierge for messages, leave his luggage at the front desk, and to wait for her in the lobby.
These are phrases in a series, and the wording must be the same for each. So try: She told him to get to the hotel by six o’clock, check with the concierge for messages, leave his luggage at the front desk, and wait for her in the lobby. OR She told him to get to the hotel by six o’clock, to check with the concierge for messages, to leave his luggage at the front desk, and to wait for her in the lobby.
Tomorrow we’ll have a book review and get back to some more examples of faulty parallelism on Thursday.
Daily Bible reading: Genesis 36–38, Romans 12
Okay, today let’s look at the examples I gave yesterday and see why they are faulty and what to do to fix them.
The lecture was long, a bore, and uninspiring.
Long and uninspiring are adjectives; bore is a noun. In a series like this, the words need to be the same part of speech in order to be parallel. So changing the misfit word is all that’s needed: The lecture was long, boring, and uninspiring.
Planning a surprise party calls for organizing, scheduling, and cunning.
Again the problem is within the series. The first two words, organizing and scheduling are gerunds. (That’s a word that looks like an –ing verb but acts as a noun.) Cunning is a straightforward noun, since there is no verb “to cunn.” So we need to look for another verb that is similar in meaning and turn it into a gerund to match the other two, or we need to change the gerunds to straight nouns. Two possible solutions for this (and there could be more, depending on your choice of words) are: Planning a surprise party calls for organizing, scheduling, and scheming. OR Planning a surprise party calls for organization, cunning, and scheduling skills.
He had always preferred talking to listening, and to give rather than to take direction.
Talking and listening are gerunds; to give and to take are infinitives (to + verb = the basic verb form). Because this is a comparison, we need to either make these all infinitives (which makes the sentence even more awkward) or change the infinitives to gerunds. So: He had always preferred talking to listening, and giving rather than taking direction.
Her responsibilities were the management of the PR department and to attend trade shows.
Again this is dealing with parts of speech. The first responsibility listed is a noun (management), the second one is an infinitive (to attend), So two ways to fix this one: Her responsibilities were to manage the PR department and to attend trade shows. OR Her responsibilities were the management of the PR department and attendance at trade shows.
A computerized database index needs to be reorganized when it has become fragmented, or to correct the skewing of values.
The focus of what is happening changes from the database index to what the person operating it should do. There aren’t two subjects in this sentence, only one: the database index. So passive voice is appropriate here. A computerized database index needs to be reorganized when it has become fragmented or when its values have become skewed.
She told him to get to the hotel by six o’clock, that he should check with the concierge for messages, leave his luggage at the front desk, and to wait for her in the lobby.
These are phrases in a series, and the wording must be the same for each. So try: She told him to get to the hotel by six o’clock, check with the concierge for messages, leave his luggage at the front desk, and wait for her in the lobby. OR She told him to get to the hotel by six o’clock, to check with the concierge for messages, to leave his luggage at the front desk, and to wait for her in the lobby.
Tomorrow we’ll have a book review and get back to some more examples of faulty parallelism on Thursday.
Daily Bible reading: Genesis 36–38, Romans 12
Monday, January 14, 2008
Parallel Construction, 1
As promised this week we'll discuss parallel construction.
Sometimes an editor will write, in the margin next to a particular sentence, faulty parallelism or not parallel. I’ve had questions as to what this means, but without specific examples from the questioner, I can't easily answer the question because there are so many reasons for faulty construction.
In simple terms, faulty parallelism is a clumsy sentence or paragraph that doesn’t mesh with the words, phrases, or sentences around it. Grammatically the writer is jumping from one type of construction to another.
Anne Stillman in Grammatically Correct states it this way: “Ensuring parallelism in your writing does not mean that every sentence should be structured the same way. What it does mean is that if you are creating a sentence, a list or a passage that contains elements related in purpose or structure, these elements must be presented in the same grammatical form. Thus, you must not got arbitrarily from the active voice to the passive, from the second person to the third, from the present tense to the past, from a series of adjectives to a noun. You must also be consistent in your use of minor words such as prepositions, articles, pronouns and conjunctions.”
Here are some examples of faulty construction (also taken from Grammatically Correct):
The lecture was long, a bore, and uninspiring.
Planning a surprise party calls for organizing, scheduling, and cunning.
He had always preferred talking to listening, and to give rather than to take direction.
Her responsibilities were the management of the PR department and to attend trade shows.
A computerized database index needs to be reorganized when it has become fragmented, or to correct the skewing of values.
She told him to get to the hotel by six o’clock, that he should check with the concierge for messages, leave his luggage at the front desk and to wait for her in the lobby.
See if you can come up with sentences that will correct the faulty construction in each of these sentences. We’ll check your answers tomorrow, as we discuss what makes them faulty and what to do to correct them.
Daily Bible reading: Genesis 33–35, Romans 11:19–end of chapter
Sometimes an editor will write, in the margin next to a particular sentence, faulty parallelism or not parallel. I’ve had questions as to what this means, but without specific examples from the questioner, I can't easily answer the question because there are so many reasons for faulty construction.
In simple terms, faulty parallelism is a clumsy sentence or paragraph that doesn’t mesh with the words, phrases, or sentences around it. Grammatically the writer is jumping from one type of construction to another.
Anne Stillman in Grammatically Correct states it this way: “Ensuring parallelism in your writing does not mean that every sentence should be structured the same way. What it does mean is that if you are creating a sentence, a list or a passage that contains elements related in purpose or structure, these elements must be presented in the same grammatical form. Thus, you must not got arbitrarily from the active voice to the passive, from the second person to the third, from the present tense to the past, from a series of adjectives to a noun. You must also be consistent in your use of minor words such as prepositions, articles, pronouns and conjunctions.”
Here are some examples of faulty construction (also taken from Grammatically Correct):
The lecture was long, a bore, and uninspiring.
Planning a surprise party calls for organizing, scheduling, and cunning.
He had always preferred talking to listening, and to give rather than to take direction.
Her responsibilities were the management of the PR department and to attend trade shows.
A computerized database index needs to be reorganized when it has become fragmented, or to correct the skewing of values.
She told him to get to the hotel by six o’clock, that he should check with the concierge for messages, leave his luggage at the front desk and to wait for her in the lobby.
See if you can come up with sentences that will correct the faulty construction in each of these sentences. We’ll check your answers tomorrow, as we discuss what makes them faulty and what to do to correct them.
Daily Bible reading: Genesis 33–35, Romans 11:19–end of chapter
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