Pesky Grammar Problems

I'm going to start a series of posts each Thursday on the pesky grammar problems that show up in our writing. This workshop is what I taught last Monday evening at our local ACFW chapter, HIS Writers, and what I'll be teaching at the Colorado Christian Writers Conference May 11–14 in Estes Park.

Resources I use:
The Chicago Manual of Style 16th ed. (www.chicagomanualofstyle.org)

Thurman, Susan. The Only Grammar Book You'll Ever Need: A One-Stop Source for Every Writing Assignment. Adams Media, 2003.

Trenga, Bonnie. The Curious Case of the Misplace Modifier: How to Solve the Mysteries of Weak Writing. Writer's Digest Books, 2006.

• Word choice  
• Weak verbs 
• form of to be (am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been) 
• Weak: The misplaced-tiger case was time-consuming to solve.
• Better: The cops stayed up all night hunting down the misplaced tiger.
• Phrases to avoid: (there is, there are, there, was, there were, there has been, there have been, there will be; it is, it was, it has been, it will be; this is, this was, this has been, this will be)
• Weak: There were bees everywhere, so the officer was nervous during the stakeout.
• Better: Bees buzzed all around the officer during the stakeout, so he nervously flapped his arms.
• form of to do, to get, to go, to have, to make, to occur, and to use
• Weak: He did the crime so he could get enough money for a new watch.
• Better: He stole from Grandpa so he could splurge on a new watch.
• seem, feel, look (telling verbs; show instead) 
• Telling: She felt her all-too-quick blush rise up her face. 
• Showing: The heat rose in her cheeks.
• Telling: She saw their eyes flit nervously back and forth between both gun and dagger seeming to weigh their risks.
• Showing: Their eyes flitted back and forth between the gun and dagger, weighing the risks. 
• Telling: She could tell he seemed amused by the object in her hand. 
• Showing: Amusement tugged at his lips as he studied the object in her hand. 

Self-Editing Tips — Comma Review Part 4

Today we'll talk about the last two most common uses for commas. Yea!!! LOL Commas are difficult to understand, but these rules today are pretty straightforward.

First, when do you use a comma when you have two or more adjectives? Adjectives are those words that describe or modify a noun. I could get all technical and tell you that adjectives come in different form (and they do), but I won't. Even though if you know the forms you will also know where to put the commas.

Thankfully, there's a quick and easy shortcut to all that technical stuff.

Here it is: IF you can put the word and between the adjectives in your sentence, THEN you can replace and with a comma.

 Examples (taken from the Chicago Manual of Style, 16th edition, 6.33):

Shelly had proved a faithful, sincere friend.

(. . . a faithful and sincere friend.)

It is going to be a long, hot, exhausting summer.

(. . . long and hot and exhausting summer)

She has a young, good-looking friend.

(. . . a young and good-looking friend)

but

She has many young friends.

(many and young friends doesn't work)

He has rejected traditional religious affiliations.

(traditional and religious affiliations puts a different meaning to the intent of the sentence, so it doesn't work here, either)

The second use of the comma we're going to look at is the comma used in dates and addresses that stand alone as well as in sentences.

Standalone:

Dates: comma between the day and year (May 10, 2010) but NOT between month and year (May 2010)

Addresses: between the city and state (Denver, Colorado)

Sentence:

Dates and time: after a.m./p.m. if in the middle of the sentence; after day if the date is given after it (Saturday, May 4, 1997), after the year if in the middle of a sentence

Addresses: between city and state and after state if in the middle of the sentence

Example:

The show will move into Springfield, Massachusetts, at about 8 p.m., Saturday, May 4, 1997, for this gala event.

I hope these guidelines for commas are a help to you in your writing.

More Self-Editing Tips—Punctuation

We are in the middle of a two-day fall snowstorm. So far we have about 18"—a little hard to tell because of the wind drifting the snow. It's supposed to snow another 4–8" before it tapers off sometime around midnight tonight. So I'm staying snug in my house . . . and working . . . when I'm not outside shoveling. It's a great powdery snow. The skiers are ecstatic. LOL

Today we're going to talk about the colon, semicolon, and period. Fairly straightforward, actually. And some opinions run high, especially on semicolons. But I'll explain why in a minute.

Very simply put, outside of the usual uses of these punctuations, you use a colon after introductory material; a semicolon between two independent sentences, in place of the separating commas in a series where there are commas already; and periods in a.m./p.m., but no period in most capped abbreviations.

Let's look at some examples.

Colon:
The grocery list his wife gave him was a menu for breakfast bacon, eggs, bread, milk, butter, and coffee.

The grocery list his wife gave him was a menu for breakfast: bacon, eggs, bread, milk, butter, and coffee.

Because a list of items follows the introductory material about the list, use a colon.

Another use for the colon is to separate two very similar sentences. Here are a couple of examples from the Chicago Manual of Style:

They even relied on a chronological analogy: just as the Year II had overshadowed 1789, so the October Revolution had eclipsed that of February.

Many of the police officers held additional jobs: thirteen of them, for example, moonlighted as security guards.

Semicolon:
Some people enjoy staying home during vacations others prefer to spend this time as far away as possible.
Some people enjoy staying home during vacations; others prefer to spend this time as far away as possible.

Between two independent sentences. This semicolon use is not a hard and fast rule in fiction. Some authors feel it sticks out, abruptly slows the action. And I can see that argument in a fast-paced mystery or suspense. However, I like the semicolon and feel it's a little misunderstood. LOL I don't recommend using it on every page, but judiciously sprinkled in it can be very effective. BUT I do not like using it in dialogue. We may read over semicolons in narrative and non-fiction, but we don't speak in semicolons. That's my personal preference, and when I'm editing a book manuscript those are the guidelines I follow . . . unless I'm working on a project for a publisher and I know that author doesn't like them anywhere. Then I follow the author's preference.

Send sample copies of your books to our distributors in Hartford, Connecticut Bangor, Maine and Easthampton, Massachusetts.
Send sample copies of your books to our distributors in Hartford, Connecticut; Bangor, Maine; and Easthampton, Massachusetts.

Two things about this sentence. There is no colon before the list because this list is actually the object of the preposition. Don't separate an object from the rest of the sentence with any punctuation. However, because of the use of the comma in the elements of the list, we need to use semicolons to separate the items. Putting commas in there is too confusing otherwise.

Period:
9:00 a m
9:00 a.m.

600 BC, AD 2009

These examples are self-explanatory, but just a reminder. The preferred way of doing the a.m./p.m. is with the lowercase letters and periods. The other accepted way is to use small caps, no commas. As for the capitalized BC and AD, they do not have periods because they are capitalized abbreviations.

Hope that helps clear up a little confusion on these pieces of punctuation.

Self-Editing Tips

Today we'll talk about the last two most common uses for commas. Yea!!! LOL Commas are difficult to understand, but these rules today are pretty straightforward.

First, when do you use a comma when you have two or more adjectives? Adjectives are those words that describe or modify a noun. I could get all technical and tell you that adjectives come in different form (and they do), but I won't. Even though if you know the forms you will also know where to put the commas.

Thankfully, there's a quick and easy shortcut to all that technical stuff.

Here it is: IF you can put the word and between the adjectives in your sentence, THEN you can replace and with a comma.

 

 Examples (taken from the Chicago Manual of Style, 6.39):

 

Shelly had proved a faithful, sincere friend.

(. . . a faithful and sincere friend.)

It is going to be a long, hot, exhausting summer.

(. . . long and hot and exhausting summer)

 

She has a young, good-looking friend.

(. . . a young and good-looking friend)

 

but

 

She has many young friends.

(many and young friends doesn't work)

 

He has rejected traditional religious affiliations.

(traditional and religious affiliations puts a different meaning to the intent of the sentence, so it doesn't work here, either)

The second use of the comma we're going to look at is the comma used in dates and addresses that stand alone as well as in sentences.

Standalone:

Dates: comma between the day and year (May 10, 2010) but NOT between month and year (May 2010)

Addresses: between the city and state (Denver, Colorado)

 

Sentence:

Dates and time: after a.m./p.m. if in the middle of the sentence; after day if the date is given after it (Saturday, May 4, 1997), after the year if in the middle of a sentence

Addresses: between city and state and after state if in the middle of the sentence

Example:

The show will move into Springfield, Massachusetts, at about 8 p.m., Saturday, May 4, 1997, for this gala event.

 

 

I hope these guidelines for commas are a help to you in your writing.

Self-Editing TIps

Sentences that contain parenthetical material usually need commas, depending on the type and necessity of the information. Take a look at the following examples:

1. Miss Piggy who is considered by most to be the star contributes to the success of the show.

2. Computers moreover play a vital role in all businesses and at the same time encourage new and fascinating approaches to the various fields of education.

3. Jerry a student in my Fundamentals of Writing course informed me that she could not find the word mnemonic in her pocket dictionary.

Commas are needed in all these sentences, so let’s take a closer look at where and why.

1. Miss Piggy, who is considered by most to be the star, contributes to the success of the show.

The clause who is considered by most to be the star gives us more information about Miss Piggy than is needed for this sentence to make its point. So we set it off with commas.

2. Computers, moreover, play a vital role in all businesses and, at the same time, encourage new and fascinating approaches to the various fields of education.

Moreover and at the same time are adverb phrases that aren’t really needed since they don’t affect the meaning of the sentence if we leave them out. Yet they do help direct our thinking, so when they are included we set them off with commas.

However, if the adverb is essential to the sentence, then we leave the commas out. For example:

The storehouse was indeed empty.
Two students cheated and were therefore disqualified.

3. Jerry, a student in my Fundamentals of Writing course, informed me that he could not find the word mnemonic in her pocket dictionary.

The phrase, a student in my Fundamentals of Writing course, renames the subject Jerry. Either used alone as the subject is valid.

Jerry informed me that he could not find the word mnemonic in her pocket dictionary.
A student in my Fundamentals of Writing course informed me that he could not find the word mnemonic in her pocket dictionary.

So when both are used, the restatement of the noun/subject is set off with commas. (This restatement of a subject is called an appositive.)


That’s enough for today. Next week we’ll continue with the parenthetical material as it relates to essential and nonessential clauses and phrases . . . and how to tell the difference.

Is Good Grammar Important in Fiction?

Okay, maybe that's not a good question to ask an editor and former high school English teacher. LOL But it has come up several times in the last few weeks, either from clients or statements made in my hearing or even in my reading.

The short answer? Or at least my take on it. Yes, it matters. But . . . I'm not saying that everything in a work of fiction needs to be grammatically correct. The writing book I'm currently reading is Dwight Swain's Techniques of a Selling Writer. This is what he has to say about the importance of grammar:

"To keep rules in proper perspective, violate them by design only.

"That is, make them tool for manipulation of your reader's emotions. If that takes sentence fragments, non-punctuation, stream-of-consciousness, and one-word paragraphs, by all means use them. Winston Churchill blazed the trail for all of us when he spoke his mind to the purists who insisted that no sentence end with a preposition: 'This is one rule up with which I shall not put!'

"So, deviate if you must. But do it with malice and by intent, not accident.

"And, most of the time, stay within the rules. Your readers will feel more at home that way."

And so will your editors. *smile*

Do know the rules of grammar: punctuation, sentence construction, word choices, etc. Because when you know the rules, then you can break them . . . effectively.

Check out this for a humorous, yet serious, approach to this topic.

Self-Editing TIps

Another use of commas that raises a lot of questions is the introductory comma—or more specifically, the comma used to set off introductory material in a sentence.

Let’s look at the following sentences without commas. Try to determine if a comma is needed, and if so, where the comma should go. (The examples I’m using come from Punctuation Plain and Simple by Edgar C. and Jean A. Alward.)

1. Walking through the woods on a brisk fall day can provide us with many rewarding experiences.

2. Having checked all accounts receivable the clerk concluded that somebody must have given him $24 too much.

3. To achieve the highest standards possible the school committee hired the best-qualified teachers available.

4. Without any obligation order your sample record today.

5. In a few cases you will find a winner.

6. At the edge of the deep Main woods near Moosehead Lake he built a small log cabin.

7. Consequently Tom must make the decision.

Okay, now let’s look at the answers and the reasons we use or don’t use a comma in these sentences.

1. Walking through the woods on a brisk fall day can provide us with many rewarding experiences.
This sentence doesn’t need a comma. The gerund phrase (Walking through the woods on a brisk fall day) is the subject of the sentence and can’t be separated from its predicate (can provide).

2. Having checked all accounts receivable, the clerk concluded that somebody must have given him $24 too much.
This is a participial (adjective) phrase describing the clerk. So it needs to be set apart from the rest of the sentence with a comma. Even if we moved that phrase to after clerk, we would need to set it off with commas: The clerk, having checked all accounts receivable, concluded that somebody must have given him $24 too much.

Hint: If you can put the phrase from the beginning of the sentence into the sentence somewhere, it needs a comma when used as an introduction to the sentence.

3. To achieve the highest standards possible, the school committee hired the best-qualified teachers available.
This is an infinitive phrase (to achieve is an infinitive: to + a verb). Again, for clarity and because of the natural pause after such a phrase, we need the comma.


That’s enough for today. Next time we will cover the four other examples of introductory commas.

Self-Editing TIps

Now that my new hard drive is up and usable again, this week has been much easier for me to keep up with the blog. So today we'll talk about the comma again.

This time the series or serial comma. According to the Chicago Manual of Style, The series comma is the one before the conjunction in a series of words, phrases, or independent clauses. It helps keep the meaning clear to the reader, in my opinion. So I use it and recommend to my clients that they use it as well.


For example:
Roger used a hammer, nails, and glue to repair the cabin’s window.
You may write an essay, read a book, or do your homework in this study hall.
Mary went to the store, Carol walked around the track, and Sharon stopped in for coffee.


However, if a conjunction is used between each of the elements in a series, no comma is needed.

For example:
Roger used a hammer and nails and glue to repair the cabin’s window.
You may write an essay or read a book or do your homework in this study hall.
This morning Mary went to the store and Carol walked around the track and Sharon stopped in for coffee.


While most book publishers follow the Chicago Manual of Style and use the serial comma, I know of several who don’t. One of the trends in grammar today is to use fewer commas, and this is one area some choose to delete.

Consistency is the key to including or excluding the comma before the conjunction. Choosing to use or not use this comma isn’t something that’s going to be a major roadblock to getting a contract. Once your book is contracted, the copy editors and proofreaders will make sure the series comma is used according to house style.

Self-Editing for the Grammatically Impaired

Sorry about the lack of posts on Monday and Tuesday. I was finishing up a round of medical tests/screenings that took up a lot of time and energy. But everything is good, so I'm thanking the Lord that they are over.

Now on to a topic that's close to my heart. I'm going to do small portions of a two-part workshop presentation I've developed and taught on several occasions. The title is self-explanatory, I think. *smile*

Why is it important for us writers to learn to self-edit our manuscripts before sending them to an agent or editor? Well, I'm going to let Lisa Samson, award-winning author, give the answer, since she does it much better than I do. To read her answer, go here

We'll get started with punctuation next week.

Homonyms

Lately in my proofreading and editing, I've seen quite a few uses of homonyms where the author chose the wrong word, completely changing the meaning of the sentence. Even in published books, where the editing process obviously didn't pick up on them.

What is a homonym? Simply stated, homonyms are words that sound alike, but have different spellings and meanings. Two very common ones are your, you're, yore and there, their, they're.

I'll discuss these and others in the next few posts. In the meantime, here's a great Web site for determining which word to use when faced with a homonym: Alan Cooper's All about Homonyms.

I'm still really busy this week, so blogging here will be sporadic again. Hopefully it will settle down by the end of the week.

Daily Bible reading: Tuesday, March 18—Job 32–33; 1 Corinthians 11:1–16
Wednesday, March 19—Job 34–35; 1 Corinthians 11:17–34
Thursday, March 20—Job 36–37; 1 Corinthians 12
Friday, March 21—Job 38–40; 1 Corinthians 13
Saturday, March 22—Job 41–42; 1 Corinthians 14:1–20
Sunday, March 23—Proverbs 1–2; 1 Corinthians 14:21–40
Monday, March 24—Proverbs 3–5; 1 Corinthians 15:1–28

Parallel Construction, 4

Today we will finish our discussion on parallel construction.

*Go to the “Options” menu to change the display colors, fonts, type size, set predefined breaks in your program or open the dictionary.
The verb to change only fits the first three items in this series. Since the infinitive form is used, the next two verbs need to have the infinitive as well. And because of the commas in the series, we’ll need to separate the three verb phrases with semicolons—an acceptable use of semicolons to avoid confusion. Go to the “Options menu to change the display colors, fonts, type size; to set predefined breaks in your program; or to open the dictionary.

Customers may either pick up the merchandise themselves, or the company will deliver it for a small fee.
The word either refers to the customer, implying a choice. But only one choice is given since the subject changes to the company in the second part of the sentence. When using either/or you can check parallelism by using only the second part of the sentence: Customers may either the company will deliver it for a small fee. Okay, that doesn’t make sense *smile*, so let’s try a couple of different options for correcting the problem: Customers may either pick up the merchandise themselves or have it delivered for a small fee. OR Either customers may pick up the merchandise themselves, or the company will deliver it for a small fee.

He not only shoveled the walkway, but also the stairs and balcony.
This is a very common mistake I see often in editing or correcting high school English essays (which I don’t do anymore. *smile*). The contrasted items that come after not only have to be parallel or we end up with this kind of awkward construction. When you put not only before the verb it sets the reader up for another action (i.e. He not only shoveled the walkway, but also salted it.) When the not only/but also combination is used, put not only before the first of the items being contrasted. So if you’re contrasting two actions, put not only before the first action, but also before the second (see example above); if there’s only one action but two objects, put the not only before the first object, but also before the second. He shoveled not only the walkway, but also the stairs and balcony.

The bankruptcy proceedings involved accountants, litigation experts, tax and corporate lawyers.
The word tax is left hanging here. It does describe the type of lawyer used in this bankruptcy proceeding. Grammatically the sentence would read: The bankruptcy proceedings involved accountants, litigation experts, and tax. Okay, that obviously doesn’t work. Yes, we would ordinarily say tax and corporate lawyers if those are the only people being referred to. But since that is not the case in this sentence and the and implies the last element of a series is corporate lawyers, we’ve got to rewrite this sentence. Try either: The bankruptcy proceedings involved accountants, litigation experts, tax lawyers, and corporate lawyers. OR The bankruptcy proceedings involved accountants, litigation experts, and tax and corporate lawyers.

The stocky and self-confessed plagiarist showed no emotion as the charges against him were read out in court.
Okay, the explanation as to why this isn’t parallel is way out there, even for me! So here’s what the author gives as an explanation: “The adjectives stocky and self-confessed are not equivalent. Stocky can stand alone: A person can simple be described as stocky, the way he or she can be described as dark haired, athletic, grouchy, left-handed, etc. But one cannot be simply “self-confessed”: By definition, one has to be a self-confessed something—a drug dealer, an adulterer, a chocoholic. Self-confessed is thus tied to the noun that follows, and the string self-confessed plagiarist effectively become a unit, leaving stocky without anything to latch onto. Grammatically, it is as if the sentence read The stocky and plagiarist showed no emotion, which clearly doesn’t work. Removal of the and solves the problem, since stocky then becomes a modifier of the unit self-confessed plagiarist.” (But don’t put a comma between stocky and self-confessed in the string of adjectives because that would create the same problem. The "need" to put a comma in there is what tripped me up on this sentence.) So here is the corrected version: The stocky self-confessed plagiarist showed no emotion as the charges against him were read out in court.

The text editing program enables you to do the following:
—change the background color of your screen
—to select different fonts
—cutting and pasting text
—creation of complex layouts.
The items in a list must be written the same way to be parallel. Also since each element must mesh with the lead-in. Each element with the lead-in must form a coherent sentence. So try the following:
The text editing program enables you to do the following:
—change the background color of your screen
—select different fonts
—cut and paste text
—create complex layouts.

(*I’m taking these examples from Grammatically Correct by Anne Stillman.)

I hope that this presentation of parallel construction helps you create better sentences that read smoothly and give the right meaning to your readers.

If you have a suggestion for another grammar topic for me to cover, please leave a comment.


Daily Bible reading: Tuesday, February 26—Exodus 23–24; 2 Thessalonians 2

Parallel Construction, 2

Last night we had our monthly ACFW chapter meeting. I am president of this wonderfully supportive and fast-growing group. We had eighteen people in attendance last night, most of whom are members. Wow! It was really good to see so many. How good God is!

Okay, today let’s look at the examples I gave yesterday and see why they are faulty and what to do to fix them.

The lecture was long, a bore, and uninspiring.
Long and uninspiring are adjectives; bore is a noun. In a series like this, the words need to be the same part of speech in order to be parallel. So changing the misfit word is all that’s needed: The lecture was long, boring, and uninspiring.

Planning a surprise party calls for organizing, scheduling, and cunning.
Again the problem is within the series. The first two words, organizing and scheduling are gerunds. (That’s a word that looks like an –ing verb but acts as a noun.) Cunning is a straightforward noun, since there is no verb “to cunn.” So we need to look for another verb that is similar in meaning and turn it into a gerund to match the other two, or we need to change the gerunds to straight nouns. Two possible solutions for this (and there could be more, depending on your choice of words) are: Planning a surprise party calls for organizing, scheduling, and scheming. OR Planning a surprise party calls for organization, cunning, and scheduling skills.

He had always preferred talking to listening, and to give rather than to take direction.
Talking and listening are gerunds; to give and to take are infinitives (to + verb = the basic verb form). Because this is a comparison, we need to either make these all infinitives (which makes the sentence even more awkward) or change the infinitives to gerunds. So: He had always preferred talking to listening, and giving rather than taking direction.

Her responsibilities were the management of the PR department and to attend trade shows.
Again this is dealing with parts of speech. The first responsibility listed is a noun (management), the second one is an infinitive (to attend), So two ways to fix this one: Her responsibilities were to manage the PR department and to attend trade shows. OR Her responsibilities were the management of the PR department and attendance at trade shows.

A computerized database index needs to be reorganized when it has become fragmented, or to correct the skewing of values.
The focus of what is happening changes from the database index to what the person operating it should do. There aren’t two subjects in this sentence, only one: the database index. So passive voice is appropriate here. A computerized database index needs to be reorganized when it has become fragmented or when its values have become skewed.

She told him to get to the hotel by six o’clock, that he should check with the concierge for messages, leave his luggage at the front desk, and to wait for her in the lobby.
These are phrases in a series, and the wording must be the same for each. So try: She told him to get to the hotel by six o’clock, check with the concierge for messages, leave his luggage at the front desk, and wait for her in the lobby. OR She told him to get to the hotel by six o’clock, to check with the concierge for messages, to leave his luggage at the front desk, and to wait for her in the lobby.


Tomorrow we’ll have a book review and get back to some more examples of faulty parallelism on Thursday.

Daily Bible reading: Genesis 36–38, Romans 12

Parallel Construction, 1

As promised this week we'll discuss parallel construction.

Sometimes an editor will write, in the margin next to a particular sentence, faulty parallelism or not parallel. I’ve had questions as to what this means, but without specific examples from the questioner, I can't easily answer the question because there are so many reasons for faulty construction.

In simple terms, faulty parallelism is a clumsy sentence or paragraph that doesn’t mesh with the words, phrases, or sentences around it. Grammatically the writer is jumping from one type of construction to another.

Anne Stillman in Grammatically Correct states it this way: “Ensuring parallelism in your writing does not mean that every sentence should be structured the same way. What it does mean is that if you are creating a sentence, a list or a passage that contains elements related in purpose or structure, these elements must be presented in the same grammatical form. Thus, you must not got arbitrarily from the active voice to the passive, from the second person to the third, from the present tense to the past, from a series of adjectives to a noun. You must also be consistent in your use of minor words such as prepositions, articles, pronouns and conjunctions.”

Here are some examples of faulty construction (also taken from Grammatically Correct):

The lecture was long, a bore, and uninspiring.

Planning a surprise party calls for organizing, scheduling, and cunning.

He had always preferred talking to listening, and to give rather than to take direction.

Her responsibilities were the management of the PR department and to attend trade shows.

A computerized database index needs to be reorganized when it has become fragmented, or to correct the skewing of values.

She told him to get to the hotel by six o’clock, that he should check with the concierge for messages, leave his luggage at the front desk and to wait for her in the lobby.

See if you can come up with sentences that will correct the faulty construction in each of these sentences. We’ll check your answers tomorrow, as we discuss what makes them faulty and what to do to correct them.


Daily Bible reading: Genesis 33–35, Romans 11:19–end of chapter

The Confusing Comma, 2

Today we’re talking about the serial comma. (For those of us who write mysteries, suspense, or thrillers—that’s comma, not killer. :-) ) According to the Chicago Manual of Style, the serial comma is the one before the conjunction in a series of words, phrases, or independent clauses. It helps keep the meaning clear to the reader, in my opinion.

For example:
Roger used a hammer, nails, and glue to repair the cabin’s window.
You may write an essay, read a book, or do your homework in this study hall.
Mary went to the store, Carol walked around the track, and Sharon stopped in for coffee.


However, if a conjunction is used between each of the elements in a series, no comma is needed.

For example:
Roger used a hammer and nails and glue to repair the cabin’s window.
You may write an essay or read a book or do your homework in this study hall.
This morning Mary went to the store and Carol walked around the track and Sharon stopped in for coffee.


While most book publishers follow the Chicago Manual of Style and use the serial comma, I know of several who don’t. One of the trends in grammar today is to use fewer commas, and this is one area where many believe less is better.

Consistency is the key to including or excluding the comma before the conjunction. This isn’t something that’s going to be a major roadblock to getting a contract. Once your book is contracted, the copy editors and proofreaders will make sure the serial comma is used according to house style.


As to other “news,” I will be hosting three more blog tours in the next six weeks: Montana Mistletoe, September 14; The Restitution, by MaryLu Tyndall, September 29; and The Begotten and The Betrayed by Lisa Tawn Bergren, October 3. All three of these books are excellent examples of their genres, and I’m happy to host these talented authors. If you missed the blog tour for Allison Bottke's latest fiction book, One Little Secret, see the August 23 post.

Have a great week! Check back in on Thursday for another installment in our grammar tips.

Lie vs. Lay

Today we’re going to look at these often misused verbs. I’m hoping this will help you figure out which word to use when.

Lay is what is called a transitive verb. That simply means that this is a verb that demands a direct object. It means to put something down, to place or set an object somewhere. It also mean to place for rest or sleep (think babies or funerals, as in lay someone to rest). The various forms of this verb are: lay, laying, laid, and laid.

Lay your pencils down.
The woman was laying the dishes on the table.
She laid her pencil on the desk.
He had laid his pencil on the table.

Lie is an intransitive verb, meaning it never uses a direct object. However, it is usually followed by a preposition. It means to rest or recline, to assume a horizontal position. Now here is where it gets a little confusing. The verb forms are: lie, lying, lay, lain.

I lie down on the bed for a short nap.
The dog was lying on the rug before the hearth.
Exhausted, the woman lay down on the sofa.
The body had lain in the garden for several hours before being discovered.

One quick hint on how to tell which verb to use, try substituting the verb with set. If it works the verb is transitive and you use a form of lay.

Set your pencils down.
She set her pencil on the desk.
He had set his pencil on the table.

If it doesn’t work, like in the following examples, use a form of lie.

I set down on the bed for a short nap.
The dog was setting on the rug before the hearth.
Exhausted, the woman set down on the sofa.
The body had set in the garden for several hours before being discovered.

See if this helps your word choices when it comes to these two verbs in the future. If you have any questions, please feel free to leave them in the comments.

For those readers who live in the States, I hope you have plans to celebrate our nation’s independence on Wednesday. We’re planning to spend some time at our cabin during the day. Haven’t decided where to watch fireworks, though.

Thursday I’ll be posting my thoughts about attending writer’s conferences, specifically the ACFW conference in September. Have a good writing week!

Too many thats?

I attended a Words for the Journey Meeting (Rocky Mountain Region) earlier this week. In a conversation I had with an author after the meeting, she asked a question about the copy editing she'd had done in preparation for her book coming out later this year. A good question about the use of the relative pronoun that. I’ve sometimes heard the overuse of that called "that attacks." Plus that is a word Angela Hunt calls a “weasel word,” meaning "take it out whenever possible." Following is my answer to this author:

The only place I found a good explanation of this issue is in The Writer’s Digest Grammar Desk Reference (by Gary Lutz & Diane Stevenson, Writers Digest Books, 2005, pp. 194/95 Chapter 16 “Two Special Problems with That”). Here are a few excerpts from that chapter (I’ve done the correct omissions in blue):
16A Omission of that from the Start of a Nominative Dependent Clause

Do not omit the indefinite relative pronoun that from the beginning of a nominative dependent clause if the subject of the clause is likely to be misread as the direct object of a transitive verb in the clause immediately preceding. Despite the widespread notion that that is a superfluous and discardable word, the inclusion of that often improves the readability of the sentence.

Consider this sentence: When a researcher discovers a new strain of flu could threaten a large segment of the population, the ethics panel determines whether the public should be notified immediately. Readers can initially misconstrue strain as the direct object of discovers. Only when they read the helping verb could will they realize that they have misread the sentence. The inclusion of that between discovers and a will ensure that readers can traverse the sentence without stumbling. . . .

Corrective additions to the following sentences have been boldfaced and bracketed.

• Mr. Green noticed [that] the kids he continued to bring to practice with him improved greatly.
• But on board his flight to Los Angeles, he found [that] the promised seat-back TVs were missing, and the bottled water ran out halfway there.
• I think it [the movie] should be required viewing for every American, but as usual, I fear [that] the people who could learn the most from the issues it raises will avoid it like a fund-raiser for free abortions.

The indefinite relative pronoun that can usually be omitted following verbs such as say, think, and hope, because there is no possibility of misreading: She said the food was overcooked. I thought the girl looked pale. He hopes the incumbent wins the election.

If two or more nominative dependent clauses follow a transitive verb, be sure to phrase the clauses in parallel form. . . .
Faulty: I realized I was going to be late for the meeting and that there was nothing I could do.
Correct: I realized that I was going to be late for the meeting and that there was nothing I could do.
Correct: I realized that I was going to be late for the meeting and there was nothing I could do.
In this revision, the first that is implicitly carried forward to the start of the second dependent clause, and the absence of a comma before and signals to the reader that what follows is another dependent clause and not a second independent clause.

16B Erroneous Doubled that

Writers sometimes mistakenly insert that at both ends of a dependent clause: He knows that if he oversleeps again that he might lose his job. The second that is superfluous and ungrammatical. A comma should be inserted in its place.

In each of the two following sentences, the second, bracketed that should be replaced by a comma.

• The PA Department of Revenue knows that no matter how careful a taxpayer is about reporting their income on the Personal Income Tax return [that] mistakes and oversights can happen.
• Many think that when they enter a highway from an on ramp [that] the approaching right lane traffic is required to move to the left lane in order to allow them to enter the traffic flow without interruption.

In the second sentence of the following excerpt, the third, bracketed that must be deleted, and it would be advisable to insert then in its place.

• Valentine’s Day is this weekend; if you are alone, it is your fault. So embrace your responsibility, feel that pain, and consider that if you are without a companion at 35—when you still have a fairly decent body—[that] when you die at 80, there will certainly be no one at your beside.

In researching this topic, I learned some new concepts, which will help me be more aware of this issue. I hope this helps you, too.

Have a great weekend! See you on Monday.