Verse of the Day

God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. Selah. . . . "Cease striving and know that I am God" Psalm 46:1–3, 10 NASB

The Lord has been reminding me all week of Psalm 46:10. Yesterday was rough, and I was overwhelmed with the enormity of the tasks before me this month. I allowed my spirit to focus on the circumstances not Jesus (Hebrews 12:2). I thought I needed to stay home from church and hopefully make some headway. But two people (my hubby and a dear friend) encouraged me to take a break. 

Guess what passage our pastor chose for the Bible study. Yep. Psalm 46. 

Yes, I listened. And when I got home . . . I had "urgent" emails from only one person. I decided to let them wait until this morning, and I went to bed. Seven hours of sleep and several reminders of God's peace and strength in my quiet time this morning keeps me calm this morning.

Has the enormity of the tasks changed? No, but looking at them through God's perspective has changed my attitude. God is SO good! 

Step into the Water

"It shall come about when the soles of the feet of the priests who carry the ark of the LORD, the Lord of all the earth, rest in the waters of the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan will be cut off, and the waters which are flowing down from above will stand in one heap." (Joshua 3:13 NASB)

Many years ago during a visit to my sister's, her pastor preached a sermon from this passage. We were facing a difficult decision, unsure where to go, where to turn. We heard from the Lord that day, sitting as guests in that church. And while it wasn’t easy, we knew the only way for us was to move forward into the flooded waters.

When God brought the children of Israel to the Jordan at the end of their forty years of wandering in the wilderness, it was the spring run-off. The snow was melting in the mountains at the headwaters of the Jordan, and now the river was a mighty, rushing, dangerous river, possibly overflowing its banks. And God’s instructions to the children of Israel was to enter the Promised Land—now was His perfect time.

I’ve seen mountain streams and rivers during the spring run-off in the Rockies of Colorado. And I saw video of the same streams and rivers in raging flood stage when Colorado received record amounts of rain this past fall. The damage the water can wreak, the danger to life to those caught in its raging heights, is enormous.

Yet God told the children of Israel to move forward. This was His path for them. They had already missed their first opportunity to enter the land forty years before and balked, unwilling to trust God to remove the giants in the land. Now the people were ready to follow God.

But I’m sure there were many fearful souls lining up to cross that day. I love the picture of God going before them. The ark was God’s presence in the midst of the people. The priests who carried the ark were the first to enter the water. Those lead priests, the two carrying the front of the ark, very probably obeyed with their legs and feet shaking so much it was hard to stand on the planted foot as they stepped forward by faith.

Once again, we are faced with difficult decisions on several fronts. And once again, the Lord is telling us to move forward into the raging unknown. Too often, I’m tempted to wait it out. Surely the Lord doesn’t mean for us to go through this difficult if not extremely dangerous way before us. He’ll remove the obstacle or surely He’ll lead us around it.

But that is not the way of faith. Since we moved to Missouri at the beginning of 2012, the words the Lord has given me for each year have all come from Hebrews 12:1–3. Focus, persevere/endure, and balance/moderation. While two of those words aren’t specifically found in this passage, they are implied. Here is the passage from The Message, a paraphrased version of scripture:

Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

What is the difficult path before you the Lord is asking You to follow? Are you facing the raging floodwaters of Jordan? Step forward by faith, believing that He is always faithful, always good, always guiding (Lam. 3:23; Rom. 8:28; Isaiah 41:1-2, 58:11).

The words of this magnificent hymn of the faith expresses this principle—walk forward in faith even though the obstacle seems insurmountable and extremely dangerous:

Guide me, O Thou great Jehovah,
Pilgrim through this barren land.
I am weak, but Thou art mighty;
Hold me with Thy powerful hand.
Bread of Heaven, Bread of Heaven,
Feed me till I want no more;
Feed me till I want no more.

Open now the crystal fountain,
Whence the healing stream doth flow;
Let the fire and cloudy pillar
Lead me all my journey through.
Strong Deliverer, strong Deliverer,
Be Thou still my Strength and Shield;
Be Thou still my Strength and Shield.

When I tread the verge of Jordan,
Bid my anxious fears subside;
Death of deaths, and hell’s destruction,
Land me safe on Canaan’s side.
Songs of praises, songs of praises,
I will ever give to Thee;
I will ever give to Thee.

Walking off Cliffs

In my office I have a quote by Davis Bunn that says something to the effect that faith is like stepping off a cliff and learning to fly. Since our move, it’s no longer hanging on the side of the file cabinet but stuffed in an unpacked box somewhere in that room. And I can’t find the quote online.

The picture in Scripture of a mother eagle pushing her babies out of the nest in order to teach them to fly is how God pushes us out of our comfort zones and into His plans and purposes for us. When we are in the freefall He bears us up on His wings and teaches us to fly. He equips us with all we need in order to fulfill His calling.

Still, in this year of major changes, I’m not surprised that the Lord has been slowly, inexorably, and lovingly moving me to the edge of a cliff. I’m not a fan of heights in the physical realm or the spiritual realm. But I have faced my fear in the physical realm when I rappelled—once—reminding my husband, who was the lead instructor for the teens involved in the activity, that I was the mother of his children. (They were quite young at the time.) He laughed and then gently coaxed me over the edge of the cliff with only a rope as my lifeline.

So taking that step of faith off the spiritual cliff into the unknown is very hard for me, even knowing that when I’ve done it before, God has never let me down. In both cases, it’s a matter of trust. A theme that repeats itself over and over in my life, in my writing.

The cliff that the Lord has been so patiently guiding me toward has long been my dream . . . and my greatest fear. Since I was young and learned to read, I have loved books—the whole process from writing them to publishing them to reading them. I longed for a job that would allow me to read, to write, to edit. Not something that’s pure fluff, though I’ve done my share of that.

I love books with substance. I want my fiction to bear a strong spiritual message based on Scripture. I want my nonfiction, including devotionals, to inspire others to dig more deeply into the Word of God to find answers to life’s problems. However, whenever I read books like the ones I dream of writing, the ugly thought that I could never accomplish it rears its ugly head.

The Lord has allowed me to have jobs where I can read. He’s even taken me out of the classroom (both elementary and high school) in order to edit on a full-time basis. And I love it. I’ve grown comfortable in that role of editor, reviewer, and judge of good writing.

Now He’s opening the doors to getting published, both in fiction and nonfiction. Not just short stories, articles, and devotionals, but books. Books!! He’s given me a designer for a new website—an author website. I’ve caught glimpses of a speaking/teaching ministry related to the books He wants me to write. Exciting. And scary.

He asked me to take the summer off from taking on new clients in editing. And He’s cut way back on the number of editing projects I’ve received from the publishers and individuals. I’ve had time to pray and to think about the next step He’s asking me to take—the one off the cliff of the known into the unknown. He’s showing me who I am, how He’s shaped me and molded me into the person He envisioned before the foundation of the world. Not that I’ve arrived by any means, there’s still so much shaping and pruning that needs to happen before He’s done with me.

It’s hard to see ourselves as God sees us. We can only see through the glass dimly. I’m so thankful He has surrounded me with not only one group but two groups of godly ladies who pray for me, who honestly confront me when necessary, and who are my cheerleaders and encouragers. In one group we’ve taken turns being the mirror for each other, revealing who we are in the Lord’s eyes. It’s a humbling exercise yet incredibly enabling and confirming for me.

What these ladies told me along with Scripture to back it up has pushed me even closer to the edge of the cliff. The pressure to step off, to accept the call to change my focus from all editing to taking the writing projects He’s laid on my heart and make it my priority, has increased over the past month. Through my devotional reading, reviewing and endorsing books, conversations with editors and writers at a conference, and the preaching of His Word, the Lord has made it very clear that the decision is now. I can no longer put it off nor try to push backward into the comfort of editing.

Last night at church, the Bible study was about Moses and the burning bush. In that encounter God gave Moses his “marching orders.” And in that He revealed Himself and how He would work through Moses. Thinking about the rest of the story and how Moses made up excuse after excuse as to why he wasn’t a good choice for the job, I realized I have been doing the same thing. I like my rut. I’m comfortable there. And frankly, the glimpses of the future He’s allowed me in this process terrifies me.

So this morning, I read the verses that the Lord gave me for this year: “Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:1–2).

He reminded me that I will not be alone, nor will I be in freefall when I step off the cliff. All year He’s given me many opportunities to “fix”—focus—my eyes on Jesus. In our move, in making new friends, in our church—He’s showing me His faithfulness, His trustworthiness. He isn’t going to let me step off without the proper gear or abilities through Him.

Then I read in A Taste of the Spirit by Karen Moore:

New developments bring a mixture of emotions that are both exciting and scary. You have to choose when a dream can come to life. Only you will know when you’re ready to jump in and take a leap of faith. Remember that you are not alone because God walks with you every moment of your life.

            He encourages you through His Spirit to act according to His will and purpose for you. He sends teachers, friends, and inspiration to keep you on the path. He also makes you aware of opportunities that will enable you to reach your goal.

            It’s your day to get started. Take that great idea or action that you’ve been holding on to for too long and give it wings. You’ll be glad you did.

Umm . . . it doesn’t get much clearer than that.

So today I’m taking the step off the cliff. Writing will take priority in my calling. The opportunities are there. I’m sure the enemy will continue to battle against me. But I’ve not been promised a life of ease. I have been promised that the Lord will never, ever leave me or forsake me. He will enable me to do all He equips me to do. He will fulfill His purposes in me. His Word continues to be my foundation; His Son is my cornerstone.

In spite of the glimpses I’ve had of the possibilities in my future, I don’t know what He has in store for me. But I do know He’s in control, and there’s no other place than in the center of His will that I’d rather be.

Verse of the Day

This year my word from the Lord is focus from Hebrews 12:1–2. Today I read this "battle plan" from Philippians 4 (Ava Pennington's One Year Alone with God).

Step 1: Ask God for help to release my anxious thoughts, thankfully acknowledging His grace and mercy:

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6–7 NLT)

Step 2: To prevent anxious thoughts from returning, fill my mind with these things: 

And now, dear brothers and sisters, let me say one more thing as I close this letter. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. (Philippians 4:8 NLT)

Step 3: Practice Steps 1 & 2 repeatedly until it becomes a habit:

Keep putting into practice all you learned from me and heard from me and saw me doing, and the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:9 NLT)


Still working on Step 3, and I suspect I will until I enter my Savior's presence. However, I will never cease to be amazed at God's timing. Yesterday, during church, I had the random thought that I'd not done a study in Scripture on focusing my thoughts on Jesus. (Random because I'm not sure anything said in Sunday school, morning service, or afternoon service triggered the thought.) Usually I do a study on my word in January, but with the move this year, it slipped my mind. Plus the word focus isn't used, at least not in the translations and paraphrases I'm most familiar with. But the concept is definitely there.

I've started a list of words/topics to search for, but until this morning, I hadn't even thought about this aspect of focusing on the Lord. Now I'm thinking of all sorts of verses and specific passages, such as this in Isaiah 26: You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, whose thoughts are fixed on you! (vs. 3)

Ah . . . two more words: fixed and thoughts. Can't wait to get started. God is so good, so faithful. All the time.

The Flight That Went Nowhere

Ah, the joys of travel.

I've been doing my share of traveling, mostly by plane, in the last two years. With hubby Roger working in Phoenix, most of my recent travels have been in and out of Phoenix's Sky Harbor Airport. Most of the time things go relatively smoothly. But not the last two weeks. At least on the flights I've been on.

Last Monday, June 24, was a very windy day in Denver. Now when I say very windy, I don't mean what most people think of as windy. Believe me, I've lived in many different places, but never have I encountered winds like those in Colorado. That day we had wind clocking in at 75 mph. All day.

My flight was supposed to leave around 6:00 p.m., and I checked with the airline before leaving for DIA. My flight was scheduled to leave on time. Even when I checked my baggage, all the way through security and out to my gate at the very end of the concourse, everything posted said my flight would leave on time.

Until ten minutes before we were to board. No plane. And even then, there was no announcement. I looked up from my book to see Nashville flashing above the door to the Jetway instead of Phoenix. What?

I checked the departure monitors. Now delayed until 9:15.

The plane didn't arrive from Phoenix until well after the winds died down. The day-long backlog of arriving flights were vying for clearance to land, and it was 10:15 before our plane arrived.

We finally left at 10:45. Yep. Five hours late.

However, I chalked it up to another experience in my travel adventures, and didn't think anything more about it really. Until yesterday's installment of Margie's travel escapades.

My plans were to fly to Wichita, Kansas (via Denver), to meet up with two of my online critique partners for a weeklong "retreat." My flight to Denver was scheduled to leave Phoenix at 7:00 a.m. So . . . up early, finished packing, got in the truck for the ride to Sky Harbor Airport.

Everything went like clockwork. Until we were all loaded and had pushed back from the gate. One minute the pilot came on to tell us we were waiting for clearance to get in line to take off, the next minute he's telling us they were going back to the gate to have maintenance look at a computer glitch. Shouldn't take too long.

Ri-i-i-i-i-ght. Seven went to eight, as it inevitably does. And we were still sitting at the gate. I called Roger. I called Kim. Knowing I'd missed my flight to Wichita, I debated about whether to go ahead and fly to Denver and take my chances on the airline getting me on another flight to Wichita or staying in Phoenix until the next flight.

Either option would have been fine . . . if it weren't the day after a holiday weekend. Sigh. I crawled out of my seat by the window and made my way to the front of the plane to speak with the gate agent. She told me there was another flight to Wichita that day and she would check to see availability.

So I crawled back into my seat, of course displacing my two gracious seatmates once again. Called Roger. Decided to wait a little longer.

Now it's 8:30. People are getting restless. Making desperate phone calls. Postponing meetings. Leaving the plane to make other arrangements for travel.

I kept asking the Lord what I should do. And every time He reminded me of the verse I posted here earlier that morning. Proverbs 3:5–6 from The Message:

"Trust GOD from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. 

Listen for GOD's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track."


So I sat. About 8:45 Roger called and said he'd checked the flights for the rest of the day. No available seats. 

Okay. For over an hour we'd had no word on how the work was progressing. Maintenance had put in a new computer, rebooted all the systems on the plane, and they still had a glitch. 


I could fly to Denver . . . whenever that would be. And arrange for a seat on a flight Wednesday from there. I could spend the night at home. Or I could get off the plane now, arrange for the next available flight, and have Roger come get me. I opted for the latter.

Grabbed my stuff, asked my long-suffering seatmates to let me out one last time, and headed down to ticketing to see what I could arrange. But first I asked the gate agent to get my checked luggage, if possible. 


An hour later I had a ticket on a flight this afternoon, getting into Wichita at 9:30 p.m. And I now own a $200 voucher from the airline for any domestic flight in the next year. My luggage was waiting for me at the carousel, and Roger came a few minutes later.


Back at the condo, I had lots of time to think.


I'm a firm believer in the sovereignty of God. Nothing is too small or too big for Him to handle. Of course, living as though I believe that truth is many times a challenge. But God makes no mistakes, and somewhere there is a reason why I didn't get to Kansas as planned.


As I have mentioned before, the word the Lord gave me for this year is trust. So I knew it wasn't a mistake that Proverbs 3:5–6 appeared in my quiet time yesterday. Nor was it a mistake that He directed me to put those verses here and on Facebook. I couldn't get away from those verses.

God wants my full, unquestioning trust in every area of my life. He wants me to plunge deep into His promises (Romans 4, The Message), never doubting that He has my best in m ind. I don't understand why He didn't want me to get to Kansas yesterday. He doesn't have to share with me His reasons. He just wants me to trust Him . . . in everything.

I'm to trust Him knowing He always has my best in mind. He is teaching me, step by step, how to trust Him fully, unquestioningly, constantly listening for His voice in everything. He wants me to follow Him closely, not lagging behind asking a bunch of skeptical, whiny questions that reveal my lack of faith in His sovereignty, goodness, and love. He doesn't want to look back and see me fainting by the way unsure of my ability to do what He's already said He would enable be to do. He doesn't want me to rush ahead of Him, confident that I know best how He wants to accomplish His purposes in and through me. 

All He wants is my complete, constant trust. 


And then this morning He gave me today's verses: "By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward--to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back. So let's keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision--you'll see it yet!" (Philippians 3:13–15 The Message)

Yieldedness

The word yield has come up more than once in the past week. Sunday afternoon just before choir practice, our music pastor handed me the following poem saying he knew I would appreciate it. I did.



Alone with none but thee, my God,
I journey on my way.
What need I fear when thou art near,
O King of night and day?
More safe am I within thy hand
than if a host should round me stand.

My destined time is known to thee,
and death will keep his hour;
did warriors strong around me throng,
they could not stay his power;
no walls of stone can man defend
when thou thy messenger dost send.

My life I yield to thy decree,
and bow to thy control
in peaceful calm, for from thine arm
no power can wrest my soul.
Could earthly omens e'er appall
a man that heeds the heavenly call?

The child of God can fear no ill,
his chosen dread no foe;
we leave our fate with thee, and wait
thy bidding when to go.
'Tis not from chance our comfort springs,
thou art our trust, O King of kings.

(attributed to St. Columba)


Seeing who wrote this poem, I was reminded once again of the verse in Jeremiah about returning to the ancient paths, which is a reference to God and His Word.

This morning in my quiet time with the Lord, I was brought face-to-face with a verse I memorized many years ago. "Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God" (Romans 6:13 KJV).

Hannah Whitall Smith wrote: "To yield anything simply means to give that thing to the care and keeping of another. To yield ourselves to the Lord, therefore, is to give ourselves to Him, giving Him the entire possession and control of our whole being. It means to abandon ourselves, to take hands off ourselves."

Ouch! Taking my hands off the controls of my life is scary. But anything less than that is sin because of my refusal to trust God. But until I do, His peace is lacking.

Last night at my local writer's group meeting, the speaker encouraged us to spend at least 10 minutes a day free-writing. Allowing ourselves to get rid of the "junk," learning to mine the treasures from that junk, and deleting the useless, unworthy material. She led us in several free-writing exercises, and I resisted. Why? Because it feels out-of-control to me. Eventually I started putting those thoughts down as a letter to God.

And this morning's quiet time was a revelation of what I still have to yield to Him. It's a process of God prying my fingers off the controls, even though I've said often that I'm surrendering all to Him. It's like peeling the layers of an onion. It's painful. His wonderful Holy Spirit digs deeper and deeper as I learn to yield all to Him.

Prayer for Writers

Taken from my friend Liz Babbs's blog:

As I spend much of my time writing, this beautiful Celtic prayer is especially meaningful. I first spotted it in the book Celtic Fire by Robert Van de Weyer (DLT, London 1990) .

The Scribe

My hand is weary from writing; my sharp quill is not steady; as its tender tip spits it dark, blue stream, the words which are formed on the page are jagged and uncertain.

O Lord, may it be your wisdom, not my folly, which passes through my arm and hand; may your words take shape upon the page. For when I am truly faithful to your decision, my hand is firm and strong.

Let me never write words that are callous or profane; let your priceless jewels shine upon these pages.

Surrender and Sacrifice

Easter, when Christians celebrate the resurrection of Christ, is my favorite holiday (originated from holy day). This week, as I am reflecting on the events that led up to His resurrection, I’m once again reminded of Christ’s complete sacrifice of love when He gave His life as a ransom for my sin.

What absolute, amazing love! God so loved the world that He gave His only Son . . . Jesus surrendered to the will of the Father (Philippians 2:5–11), and only did what the Father asked of Him, even submitting to death to pay the ultimate sacrifice for our sin.

Surrender has come up often in the last few months, and I’ve written about it. As I continue to pray that God would mold me into the image of His Son, He keeps showing me areas that I haven’t surrendered to Him. Or maybe at one time I had, but I’ve taken it back and am trying to be the one in control. Again.

This week my Sunday school class started studying James 4.

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. (James 4:1–3 ESV)

In this passage James directs his statements and admonitions to believers. As I studied these three verses in preparing to teach, I realized that once again God is saying true self-control comes when we yield total control to Him. In reality, while we may think we’re in control, we aren’t. God lets us have our way, and we think that because He does we’re in control and we can orchestrate our own happiness and peace.

Not so according to James. Striving to gain what we do not have, thinking that the next promotion, the next recognition of our talents and abilities, the next paycheck, a new home, car, the latest and greatest technology—whatever we’re striving for . . . whatever we think is going to bring us happiness, contentment—will bring us our heart’s desires and the realization of our dreams is false. Instead it is the root of our lack of patience with other people, our critical and argumentative thoughts or comments, and our failure to hear from God when we finally take these problems to Him.

Prayer should never be a last resort. Yet too many times I’m guilty of that. But praying in order to manipulate God into giving me what I want is wrong, too. All it does is increase my frustration at my inability to truly control anything!

Jesus tells us in Mark 8:35 that if we want to save (read control) our lives we will lose or fail in our efforts. But if we choose to follow Him and “lose” our lives to His control, then we will save them.

One of my favorite devotional books is Come Away My Beloved by Frances J. Roberts. It is a series of “chats” from God’s viewpoint. In the midst of my thoughts about this topic of surrender and sacrifice, I read this:

“O My children, you behave not as sons and daughters but as strangers. You boast that you serve Me, but in truth you serve your own ego.

“You would make Christianity pleasant and acceptable. Your Savior did not find it so. You would make comfortable and accommodating to your own schedule. He knew nothing of such a false religion.

“Do you truly desire to follow Me? Look for the bloodstained prints of My feet.”

Wow! That convicts me. Especially in the light of what we Christians are remembering this week. What makes me expect life to be “easy”? To be “fun”? To be lived on my own terms? That’s never been God’s plan for me. He put me on this earth to glorify Him, to bring honor to His name, to point others to Him. And it’s not the path to popularity and pleasing people!

One quick look at Jesus’ life and death will tell us that. Yesterday we celebrated Palm Sunday when Christ entered Jerusalem seated on a donkey, a symbol of royalty in those days. He proclaimed His Kingdom, fulfilling prophecy. But by the end of the week, He was arrested, went through several unjust trials, and was put on the cross to die. I could focus on His physical suffering, but that’s been covered well in sermons, teachings, and even in the movie The Passion of Christ.

But what Christ dreaded the most was not the pain of His physical suffering. That was nothing compared to the mental, emotional, and spiritual suffering of becoming sin for us on the cross, of experiencing God the Father’s abandonment because He could not look at that sin that Jesus bore. What little I can understand of the anguish Christ suffered, what little I can understand of the sacrifice Christ willingly went through for me, what little I can understand of the magnitude of the love that kept Him there and completed the payment overwhelms me. He did this for me! For you!

Jesus put aside the privileges of His deity—His glory, His riches, His due—in order to die for me. When I begin to grasp even a smidgeon of the enormity of His sacrifice, how can I withhold anything from His control? Why do I consider anything this world has to offer as better and more desirable than following God whole-heartedly? Why do I fall for the lie of anything in this world bringing me happiness and contentment and peace?

Father, forgive my unbelief. May I look only to Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith. May I always remember that only in surrendering my life to You, sacrificing my selfish desires and dreams and attempts at control, will I find truth. The truth that brings lasting peace, contentment, and joy in the midst of life’s ups and downs.

Just two choices on the shelf—pleasing God or pleasing self. (Ken Collier) Which will it be for you?

“What shall I render to the Lord for all his benefits to me?” (Psalm 116:12)

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.

Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,
Save in the death of Christ my God!
All the vain things that charm me most,
I sacrifice them to His blood.

See from His head, His hands, His feet,
Sorrow and love flow mingled down!
Did e’er such love and sorrow meet,
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.
—Isaac Watts

More Than We Can Bear

One of my Facebook friends posted this link last night: God WILL Allow More Than We Can Bear

It's well worth reading, and addresses one of my "pet peeves" of how so many well-meaning Christians misinterpret 1 Corinthians 10:13 in their attempts to encourage others.

Amazing Grace, Amazing Love

We all probably know the story behind the hymn, "Amazing Grace." How John Newton was raised by a godly mother who prayed long and hard for him, though he wandered far from his upbringing. How God patiently called and wooed him back to Himself. How instead of a life of slave trading, John became a preacher of God's Word and a hymn writer.

Last Sunday, we sang this old, familiar hymn, and as I concentrated on the words, I was struck anew with the amazing love and grace God shows to all people, even though we don't deserve it. One stanza in particular stood out to me:

The Lord has promised good to me,
His Word my hope secures;
He will my Shield and Portion be,
As long as life endures.

Jeremiah 29:11 says God has plans for us that a good, not harmful. Sometimes when the circumstances of life seem put there to crush me, it's hard to remember that "the Lord has promised good to me."

I remember many times when it seemed God wasn't listening. He definitely wasn't on the same page as me. Everything I did created more problems. I hated my life, even though I had all I dreamed of—a loving husband, two great kids, a comfortable home, a good church, loving friends and family. However, in the space of a few years, several of my close family members died (all with the Lord), I'd had two miscarriages, and my dreams of becoming a writer was farther and farther out of reach.

Instead of focusing on God and the blessings He'd given me, I focused on what I didn't have. I became more and more self-centered, and I saw everything (mostly little things—delays, disappointments, plans going awry) as God determined to make me miserable. The more I struggled for control over my life, the less I had. I allowed my daydreams free reign—a trait I developed as a child, carried though into my teen years (where my rebellion found its expression), and on into my adult life. When things were less than ideal, I escaped into my fantasy world, where my "prince" would come to rescue me and take me away from all the crappy stuff and never allow me to suffer again.

Finally my attitude landed me exactly where I said I'd never be—in a major depression. My mother and husband both tried to get me to see it. Friends at church questioned my frantic need to be involved in (and in control of) every area of ministry. I'd assure everyone that once I got through whatever busy time I was going through (mostly of my own making), once I'd guided my children through the next "stage" in their lives, once I had a few moments of "spare" time, then everything would be fine. Only it never happened. I'd hear messages at church, teach Bible lessons myself, of building a relationship with the Lord, of walking in faith, of the rewards of godly living. And I'd long to actually experience that . . . But I came to the conclusion that God wasn't pleased with my efforts. He certainly never spoke to me. If He wasn't going to step in and take all of the crud away, then I would work even harder to control the circumstances and the people who were bent on making life miserable.

I told my mother, Roger, and friends who tried to intervene to mind their own business, pray for me if they wanted, but don't try to "handle" me. I was fine! Thank you very much. Until one morning I reached out to help my son with the zipper on his coat, and his sister stepped in between us, thinking I was getting ready to slap him. In that moment, I really heard for the first time what I was saying to them both—horrible things that I'd grown up hearing from my dad . . . and had vowed I would never, ever say to my children or husband.

It was then I realized that God had been standing a distance away (where I'd put Him), patiently calling me in His still, small voice. Patiently beckoning me to come to Him and rest. Allowing me to run until I was too tired to run any longer.

A portion of the book I reviewed last Friday (Word Gets Around by Lisa Wingate) gives a wonderful picture of God: “There’s a lot of us think God is like my father was. They think He just throws on the rope and keeps the pressure up until we choke down, and when we go the wrong way, He lays on the blacksnake and the spur. . . . But you see, that’s now how a good horseman works. A good horseman is patient. He’s quiet. He knows that the horse’s natural state is to live in partnership. Deep down way down in its instincts, that animal realizes that isolation puts it in danger, makes it vulnerable. The horseman sees that truth all the while the animal is circlin’ the corral, squealing and kicking and trying to keep as far away as he can, and so the horseman just waits. He waits because he knows the nature of the horse. He waits when the animal does wrong. He waits when it fights and runs away. He just moves real quiet around the corral. He lets that horse run all its wants, wear itself out as much as it needs to. Eventually, the horse figures out things aren’t good out there by the fence. It stops and turn to the horseman, and comes into the center, and sees that’s wehre peace is. That’s where safely is. That’s where rest and comfort lie. . . .

“God is a good horseman. He waits while we circle the fences of our lives—whatever they are, whether it be a bad childhood or a destructive habit, family problems, an addiction, a personal tragedy, an inability to forgive someone else or to allow ourselves to ask forgiveness, or believe we deserve it. The Good Horseman waits, and each time we turn and look at Him, He stretches out His hand, slow and quiet, until finally, sooner or later, we reach for it, and we come to the center with Him, and find that peace was waiting there all along.”

I was that horse, going through the many danger, toils, and snares, and trying to control them to fit into my picture of a perfect life. That February day seventeen years ago, I finally reached for God's hand, I finally gave up. And found the peace I'd been looking for.

Since then, life hasn't really gotten any easier. In many ways, it's been harder. But I now rest in the strength of God's amazing grace and love. He has promised good to me. He helped me break the pattern of daydreaming, helped me "look to Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith," helped me see that true peace and joy comes when I stop running, when I stop pushing against the boundaries He protects me with, stop trying to control things I never had control of in the first place.

I'm not perfect at it, but I'm learning. And I praise God for continuing to "grow" me and draw me closer to Him.

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found;
Was blind, but now I see.

’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed!

Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
’Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me,
His Word my hope secures;
He will my Shield and Portion be,
As long as life endures.

God Is My Strength

This morning in my quiet time, I read about the children of Israel leaving Egypt under Moses' leadership. God didn't take them the shorter but more dangerous route through the land of the Philistines. He led them right into the wilderness to the Red Sea. Back in Egypt, Pharaoh and his people felt the effect of losing their slave force. So Pharaoh gathered his army and pursued the Israelites. When the Israelites saw the army coming up behind them, they cried out in fear, blaming Moses for bringing them out of Egypt to die in the wilderness.

Speaking through Moses, He said, "Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will work for you today. . . . The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent."

God told Moses to stretch his staff out over the waters in the sea; then He moved behind the camp and prevented the Egyptians from getting too close until He could prove His continued protection for His chosen people. We all are familiar with what happens next. Moses stretches out his staff, a mighty wind blew and parted the waters, and the Israelites walk across the sea on dry land.

When God let the Eygptians see the dry path through the Red Sea, the mighty army followed them. But they didn't get very far. The Bible says that God caused the muck and goo of the sea bottom to gunk up the wheels of the chariots. And as soon as the last Israelite crossed over safely, the water came crashing down on Pharaoh and his entire army.

The last few weeks and months have been difficult ones for me, mostly in little ways. Even though I know that this testing is because of my prayer of the last two years of "Whatever it takes to be more like Christ," it still is hard to allow patience to have it's perfect work in me (James 1:4). Yes, there have been times of great blessing and the realization of long-held dreams. And I rejoice that I can see growth in my life.

Still, when a guest speaker spoke at our church a week ago on 1 Peter 1:3–9, I could not stop crying. Not because of the pain of being broken, though that certainly was part of it, but because of the encouragement I received from realizing once again that I'm not going through this breaking process without reason or alone. God has a purpose for everything He allows into our lives. Through breaking He draws us closer to Him . . . and that has long been my primary desire.

Since then, my laptop's hard drive crashed with no warning (or I didn't recognize the warning signs in time), and while I had all my files in several applications backed up on Mozy, I'm now learning that the newly installed applications don't always recognize them, nor did all the new files I added in January get backed up. Oh, did I mention that all my work is on this computer? So now I'm into day 4 of trying to restore my files and catch up with deadlines. Then last night I fell onto the entry way tile (I'm in our condo rental in Phoenix) when I missed the bottom step. The light wasn't on over the stairs, and my depth perception in my right eye is really bad as the cataract continues to grow. I landed on my left side, on the knee I hurt in a fall last summer and made contact with my elbow. Shook me up, skinned my knee and elbow, bruised the same, and now I'm generally achy and stiff all over. Can't wait until the full twenty-four hours to feel the full effect! Ha! But otherwise I'm fine.

I'll have to admit that I woke less than anxious to face yet another day of computer recovery and extra pain. No energy. A little gunshy of what could possibly happen today that would continue the breaking process. And God brought me the story in Exodus 13–15. So far this morning, everywhere I've turned I've received assurance after assurance that He will give me the strength, the ability, the victory. All I have to do is be obedient—stand still, be quiet—and allow Him to work through me.

LOL I just now opened an online devotional I get from Proverbs31 Women titled "You Are Not Alone." Guess what? The author tells the same story I opened with in this post.

I get the point, Lord! You alone are my strength. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I am not alone. While I'm sure the breaking process is ongoing, today I'm rejoicing that God loves me enough to accompany me each step of the way.

And I'm reassured by the gospel song that it truly "will be worth it all when we see Christ." (Though I still can't sing it without crying.) For then I will be tried and tested and only the gold will remain.

“Be strong . . . work, for I am with you, declares the Lord of hosts.” Haggai 2:4

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

Success or Failure?

This topic has come up several times in my lifetime, but especially in the last few weeks, not only in conversation but also in my pondering on the goals and plans I have at the beginning of the New Year. And each time it does, I'm reminded that as a Christian, being a success many times looks like failure to a nonbeliever. And to many believers, too, which is frustrating to me on several levels.

I’d like to believe that my closest friends and family members see success and failure as I do, and I think that on one level they do. But when it comes to actual practice in their own lives or in their assessment of my life, I find that too often the definitions of the world have affected their beliefs, their true worldview. (The seemingly invisible effect of the world’s thinking on the believer is another topic, one I won’t attempt to delve into today, except as how it relates to this topic.)

Success is defined as a “favorable or desired outcome; also the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence.” Failure is seen as the lack of accomplishing or realizing a desired outcome or not attaining wealth, favor, or eminence.

As a believer trying to pattern my life after God’s revealed plan for His children, I would add one more phrase to the definition of success: within God’s plan for me. Failure would be defined as leaving God out of the decision-making, goal setting, or planning processes.

Several passages of scripture come to mind about this topic. But the one that has stuck with me ever since I heard one of the pastor’s at Kathy’s church in London preach on the subject is found in Luke 12:13-21 (ESV):

Someone in the crowd said to [Jesus], "Teacher, tell my brother to divide the family inheritance with me." But He said to him, "Man, who appointed Me a judge or arbitrator over you?" Then He said to them, "Beware, and be on your guard against every form of greed; for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions."

And He told them a parable, saying, "The land of a rich man was very productive. "And he began reasoning to himself, saying, `What shall I do, since I have no place to store my crops?' Then he said, `This is what I will do: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, "Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years to come; take your ease, eat, drink and be merry."' But God said to him, `You fool! This very night your soul is required of you; and now who will own what you have prepared?' So is the man who stores up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God."

I don’t believe Jesus is saying we aren’t to be financially successful, have goals and plans, or strive for excellence in all we do. Not at all! It’s when we leave God’s plans, desires, and purposes for us out of the picture that the problem arises.

Several years ago, Roger and I clearly felt the Lord was leading us into full-time Christian work. We had a nice house in a small farming community in central Illinois. Roger had a great job with a wonderful salary and had a bright future in the company he worked for. We were involved in a good church; our children attended the Christian school where I taught part-time. We lived close to Roger’s family, and we enjoyed the fellowship of lots of friends. For me, that life represented all I’d ever dreamed of after a childhood of moving fourteen times by the time I was nine years old—stability, roots, comfort.

When we were sure of the Lord’s leading to move to Colorado to become the director of a small church-owned camp in the foothills, we began to tell our friends, employers, and family. While many were very supportive, we also received a good share of “You’re doing what?” “Are you crazy?” “You would give up all this for what? A third of the income?”

Believe me, we were facing the same questions in our own discussions and prayers. It looked like a foolish decision to many. Roger’s boss graciously took the news, but also let him know that he would hold the job open for him in case we found it too difficult or the new position failed to meet our expectations. And don’t think that wasn’t tempting when we found ourselves in the middle of situations we didn’t expect or hadn’t been prepared for!

The next three and a half years were ones of joy, realizing a dream we’d both had of living in the mountains. We had a beautiful view of the Continental Divide from our house on the camp property; it was close to our family cabin—a place I’d been visiting and gotten to know since I was a young child. And we loved serving the Lord in our positions as camp director and kitchen manager.

But they were also years of intense spiritual warfare that took a toll on our health and physical well-being. It was hard to adjust to living on much less than we’d become accustomed to. And we had a teenager and a pre-teen when we moved who were affected immensely by our decision to follow God, even though it was a family decision, not one arbitrarily placed on them. I had to put on hold my desire to teach, and many days it was all I could do to stay upright in the kitchen and think clearly. (I enjoy cooking, and I love to cook for many people, but it’s definitely not my primary calling! However, the Lord taught me much about myself and about Him in this position. So it was what He wanted me to do at that time.)

Today my husband is still in full-time Christian ministry as he is a construction manager for a company that builds churches around the country. After we left the camp, I went back to teaching. But four years ago, the Lord told me it was time to take another step of faith and leave that teaching behind to become a full-time freelance editor, working with Christian publishers and authors. (I still teach—not only workshops on the writing craft, but also one-on-one with authors, as well as teaching and leading a ladies Sunday school class and occasional Bible studies.) We faced another round of “What are you doing?” “How are you planning for the future with this decision?” “What are you going to do about insurance?” (A very real concern with Roger’s diabetes and my fibromyalgia and other related health issues.)

I realize that our choices, even our lifestyle, don’t look like success to many people, both believers and non-believers. But we had to ask ourselves, and we continue to ask these questions at every juncture in our life journeys, what does God count as success?

The rich man in Jesus’ parable was a success here on earth. He invested his money, time, and energy into his crops. His wealth increased, and he was well-respected for his work ethic in the community. He was set for life. He’d succeeded in everything he’d attempted. Jesus didn’t condemn him for any of this.

But the rich man didn’t look to see how he was set for eternity. In fact, he left God out of his planning for the future and didn’t recognize God’s hand of blessing on him in his endeavors. So he never gave God credit for his abilities and talents that earned him his wealth and status in the town where he lived. It was for this that God took him before he could even sit back and enjoy the fruits of his labors.

Because of this clear lesson, when I evaluate a year past and set goals and plans for a new year, my greatest desire is to hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” I know that my decisions, bathed in prayer and seeking God’s will through His Word, are foolish to those who look at life through the eyes of the world. In spite of this desire, though, it still hurts when those closest to me, or my family, are critical of my choices. It’s at those times that the Lord reminds me: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11 ESV).

So I will continue to base my decisions on God’s Word and leading in my life, even if it doesn’t make sense to my natural logic, my reason, or others around me. And I will support others who make their decisions based on how God is leading as well, with prayer and encouraging words. For me, success is defined in Joshua 1:7–9:

"Only be strong and very courageous, being careful to do according to all the law [God’s Word]. . . . Do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have good success wherever you go. This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

Tired Hands

This year I'm once again a judge in four contests for writers, both published and unpublished. The deadlines stretch from April 1 to July 15. I do enjoy the reading, but it seems that, as usual, I'm pushing each deadline really hard. The next deadline is tomorrow. And I still have three good-sized published novels to read. So . . . guess what I'm doing today? *smile*

Over this last week, we've been reading Hebrews. Two passages really hit home with me, encouraging me to continue on no matter how tired I am.

Hebrews 12:12–13 (NLT)
So take a new grip with your tired hands and stand firm on your shaky legs. Mark out a straight path for your feet. Then those who follow you, though they are weak and lame, will not stumble and fall but will become strong.

Hebrews 13:20–21 (NLT)
May the God of peace, who brought again from the dead the Lord Jesus, equip you will all you need for doing his will. May he produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, all that is pleasing in him.

Excellent reminders of where our strength comes from.

Daily Bible reading: Tuesday, April 15—Leviticus 23–24; Revelation 2
Wednesday, April 16—Leviticus 25; Revelation 3
Thursday, April 17—Leviticus 26–27; Revelation 4
Friday, April 18—Daniel 1–2; Revelation 5
Saturday, April 19— Daniel 3–4; Revelation 6
Sunday, April 20—Daniel 5–7; Revelation 7
Monday, April 21—Daniel 8–10; Revelation 8

Dying to Self

This morning I had to say no to a lunch given in honor of a friend's birthday. I don't see my friend that often, and I was really looking forward to going—even though it's down in Highland's Ranch (on the south side of Denver, about 40 miles from where I live on the north side.) In fact, I was looking forward to seeing many of my friends who live down there. Obviously I don't see them that often.

But almost the very first thought I had this morning as I picked up my Bible for my daily time with the Lord was, "Don't go." Yes, I argued (really not a good idea, especially since the thought obviously came from the Lord, evidenced by scripture He gave me this morning and the excerpt below).

You see, I was planning to go even though I have a writing deadline on Friday (which is only about 1/3 completed) and four proofreading/editing deadlines spread out over Friday, Monday, and Tuesday. And I have our chapter meeting for ACFW tonight. Okay, what has to give? Well, at this point, my desires and pleasures have to take a backseat in order to accomplish what the Lord has given me to do. And no matter how I tried to justify this lunch (after all, it's with writer friends, the talk will inevitably lead to writing. That's a good thing, right?), it didn't work.

Then, this morning, I was checking the care page set up for my friend Sally who is battling colon cancer, uterine cancer, and related problems, her husband, Scott, had posted this excerpt from The Calvary Road, an excellent practical Christian living classic:

"...dying to self is not a thing we do once for all. There may be an initial dying when God first shows these things, but ever after it will be a constant dying, for only so can the Lord Jesus be revealed constantly through us. All day long the choice will be before us in a thousand ways. It will mean no plans, no time, no money, no pleasure of our own. It will mean a constant yielding to those around us, for our yieldedness to God is measured by our yieldedness to people. Every humiliation, everyone who tries and vexes us, is God's way of breaking us, so that there is a yet deeper channel in us for the Life of Christ.

"You see, the only life that pleases God and that can be victorious is His life - never our life, no matter how hard we try. But inasmuch as our self-centered life is the exact opposite of His, we can never be filled with His life unless we are prepared for God to bring our life constantly to death. And in that we must cooperate by our moral choice."

I really can't say it any better than that. My prayer, my heart's desire, long has been that I be broken, totally obedient to Him in all things. Today's lunch is just a small part of that being broken, of dying to self. But if I am to be faithful in the big things, I have to be faithful to obey in the little ones.

God is good!

Because of my hectic schedule this week, I'm posting the daily Bible readings for the week. I hope to post later to let you know how God worked in getting all my deadlines met.

Daily Bible reading: Tuesday, March 11—Job 14–16; 1 Corinthians 6
Wednesday, March 12—Job 17–19; 1 Corinthians 7:1–19
Thursday, March 13—Job 20–21; 1 Corinthians 7:20–40
Friday, March 14—Job 22–24; 1 Corinthians 8
Saturday, March 15—Job 25–27; 1 Corinthians 9
Sunday, March 16—Job 28–29; 1 Corinthians 10:1–18
Monday, March 17—Job 30–31; 1 Corinthians 10:19–33

Pressed on Every Side

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don't give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going. Through suffering, these bodies of ours constantly share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies. 2 CORINTHIANS 4:810 NLT


These verses pretty much sum up how I feel these days. Pressed on every side; perplexed, not sure which direction I’m to go, what project to focus on; hunted down by the enemy, even when I think I’m flying under the radar; knocked down, dreams and plans changed or broken.

But in it all I sense God’s peace and love. I see His grace in that I’m not crushed or broken. Hope is ever present, so I don’t give up or quit, though I’m tempted to. God’s faithfulness and mercies are new every morning when He shows me each day that He’s not abandoned me yet. And when I fall, He’s there to pick me up, to carry me until I learn to stand on Him and His promises.

Suffering seems to be the theme of many of friends’ lives these days. And mine. Yet in this passage Paul reminds us that it is through suffering that we share in Christ’s death and resurrection so that His life may be reflected in us. Good comes from pain; purity comes from the fire. God allows the enemy to sift us, to bring suffering to us to separate the good from the bad, and He prays for us as we go through the sifting, as He did for Peter, that when we have gone through the testing we will be able to encourage others and lift them up.

Today in my hymn history devotional, I read about the author of the words of “Day by Day.” Lina was the daughter of Jonas Sandell, pastor of the Lutheran church in Fröderyd, Sweden. At age 26, she accompanied her father on a boat trip across Lake Vättern to Göteborg, during which he fell overboard and drowned before her eyes. The tragedy profoundly affected Lina and she wrote this hymn shortly after this tragedy. Known as the Fanny Crosby of Sweden, she wrote 650 hymns. She married Stockholm merchant C. O. Berg in 1867, but continued to initial her hymns “L. S.”

Day by day, and with each passing moment,
Strength I find, to meet my trials here;
Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,
I’ve no cause for worry or for fear.
He Whose heart is kind beyond all measure
Gives unto each day what He deems best—
Lovingly, its part of pain and pleasure,
Mingling toil with peace and rest.

Every day, the Lord Himself is near me
With a special mercy for each hour;
All my cares He fain would bear, and cheer me,
He Whose Name is Counselor and Power;
The protection of His child and treasure
Is a charge that on Himself He laid;
“As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,”
This the pledge to me He made.

Help me then in every tribulation
So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,
That I lose not faith’s sweet consolation
Offered me within Thy holy Word.
Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,
Ever to take, as from a father’s hand,
One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,
Till I reach the promised land.


God is very good!

Daily Bible reading: Wednesday, February 27—Exodus 25–26; 2 Thessalonians 3

Be Ready

Here's another quote from Woodrow Kroll at Back to the Bible. Makes me wonder how often I've not been ready and waiting when the Lord was ready to work through me. Or if I've hesitated too long because it was an uncomfortable call. I'm sooo thankful God gives second chances, but how much blessing do I miss out on because I wasn't willing to be used at the first call. Hmmm . . .

"Be ready. The man God uses is the man who is ready, willing, and able to be used. If we are not ready, God will bypass us for someone who is; and we will miss the blessing that could have been ours. The apostle Paul was a man who was ready. In Romans 1:15 he was 'ready to preach the gospel to you that are at Rome also.' With Paul, preaching was a passion: 'For I am ready not to be bound only, but also to die at Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus' (Acts 21:13). After a long life of service to his Lord, Paul exclaimed, 'For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith' (2 Timothy 4:6-7). Paul was ready to preach, ready to suffer, even ready to die in the service of the Lord."

Faith

I read the following quotes from a devotional I get from Back to the Bible. I needed this reminder today.

"Faith is not always a champion which marches alone. Sometimes faith is accompanied by fear. Faith is not the absence of questioning; it is the presence of action in the midst of those questions. Faith does not provide all the answers; it provides a basis for confidence in the midst of unreasonable circumstances.

"If we are to live a life of faith, we must get our eyes off the stone before the tomb and on the God who does the impossible. The women knew the stone would keep them from their Lord, and yet they purchased their spices, readied themselves early in the morning, and made their way in the darkness toward the garden tomb. Faith is not being free from questions; faith is being firm in commitment to the power of God. How will you demonstrate your faith today? "

Woodrow Kroll

Overcoming Fear of Failure

Saturday, my October issue of The Writer landed in my mailbox. I glanced through the articles and the Breakthrough column caught my attention: “Children’s Book Author Overcame Fear of Failure.” Since this is a fear that slows me down often, I thought I’d read it to see if there was anything of value for me.

It seems that this author always had the dream to write but because she was afraid of failing, she never started writing . . . until her father died. She says, “Amid my grief there was a thought I couldn’t shake: If I died tomorrow, my biggest regret would be never trying to become a writer.”

Her statement got me to thinking. If I died tomorrow, what would be my biggest regret? Not having a book published wasn’t the first thing that popped into my mind. Maybe because of my biblical worldview. Instead the only way I could put it into words when I was discussing this thought last night with my husband was to recall the words from an old hymn: “Have I Done My Best for Jesus?”

I wonder, have I done my best for Jesus,
Who died upon the cruel tree?
To think of His great sacrifice at Calv’ry!
I know my Lord expects the best from me.

The hours that I have wasted are no many,
The hours I’ve spent for Christ so few;
Because of all my lack of love for Jesus,
I wonder if His heart is breaking too.

I wonder, have I cared enough for others,
Or have I let them die alone?
I might have helped a wand’rer to the Savior,
The seed of precious Life I might have sown.

No longer will I stay within the valley—
I’ll climb to mountain heights above;
The world is dying now for want of someone
To tell them of the Savior’s matchless love.

[Chorus]
How many are the lost that I have lifted?
How many are the chained I’ve helped to free?
I wonder have I done my best for Jesus,
When He has done so much for me?

The thought of disappointing my Savior and not hearing the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant,” is the thing that keeps me fighting the fear of failure—in every area of my life, not just writing. Because He has called me to be obedient, surrendered totally, to His purpose and plan for me. And that includes so much more than writing and editing.

I believe He has tasked me with this method of getting His message of salvation and love to a world that is seeking for meaning in life. And my fear of failing the God who loves me so much to sacrifice His Son for my sin is stronger than my desire to have a book published. I will continue to live my life in a way that brings glory to Him, whether I write, teach, or edit, whether I am ever published or not.

Psalm 116:12 says, “What shall I render to the LORD for all His benefits toward me?” Therein lies the key to overcoming the fear of failure.

Glorifying God and Faith

[Abraham] did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead (since he was about a hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah’s womb. No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.
Romans 4:19–21 ESV

Yesterday in my devotional time with the Lord, I came across these verses in my Daily Light devotional book. And I saw something I had never seen before. But before I explain what, I need to go back and explain a little.

The Daily Light is a devotional compiled back in the early 1900s. It has readings for morning and evening, and each reading has a theme verse in bold at the top of the reading with several verses that follow the theme. All scripture; nothing but God’s Word.

My grandmother got a copy of this devotional book when it first came out. Portions of it she clung to as promises that helped her get through some very difficult situations in her life (my sister has her original marked-up copy). Then my mother started to use it. And her testimony was similar to her mother's; portions of it she committed to memory because of how those particular scriptures helped her (I have that copy—torn, tattered, marked up—but oh so precious to see which portions helped her and when). As a young adult, I wanted a copy for myself. So I bought a paperback copy. All of these copies were in the King James Version.

Why is that last sentence important? Because my copy finally became so tattered and falling apart that I ordered a new hardback copy—this time in the English Standard Version. And that’s why a particular phrase jumped out at me in this passage. (I highly recommend having your devotional time in other versions of the scripture to gain fresh insight into God’s Word that can become superficial when reading from the same version over and over again.)

I’ve often been amazed at Abraham’s faith. Mostly because I’ve never felt like I had much faith. I’m constantly praying the prayer of the at-his-wit’s-end father in Luke 9 when he prayed, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” I’ve read the stories of the great men and women of faith in the past, and longed for that kind of faith to be real in my life. Others tell me that they see it, but I don’t, probably because of the struggle it is for me.

One Sunday many years ago now, I can remember my pastor in Illinois preached on this passage, focusing on Abraham’s incredible faith. At home, I said to my husband, “That’s all well and good . . . for Abraham . . . but HOW can I get that kind of faith?” Hmmm . . . wrong person to ask! My poor husband, all he could do is shrug. See, for him, it’s simple—just choose to believe God is who He says He is, God can do what He says He can do (yes, I took Beth Moore’s Believing God long after this incident).

At the time I was so frustrated with my husband . . . and, yes, God . . . for simplifying an issue I was having such a hard time getting my mind around. Little did I know the journey the Lord would take me on in order to teach me how simple faith really is.

It really is choosing to believe. Choosing to obey, even when I don’t understand it. My human mind isn’t going to grasp the fullness of every doctrine or aspect of God’s attributes. But when I finally give up my “right” to understand everything and accept what God says as true, I experience His grace, His love, and yes, His faithfulness—and I’m walking in faith.

What was the phrase that stood out this time? In verse 20, Abraham “grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God.” Giving glory to God is simply accepting that He is who He says He is, that He can do what He says He can do. Period.

The Message makes this concept even clearer: He didn’t tiptoe around God’s promise asking cautiously skeptical questions. He plunged into the promise and came up strong, ready for God, sure that God would make good on what He had said. . . . The same thing gets said about us when we embrace and believe the One who brought Jesus to life when the conditions were equally hopeless. The sacrificed Jesus made us fit for God, set us right with God.

Wow! Abraham didn’t “tiptoe” around the promises God gave him. He didn’t ask “cautiously skeptical questions.” So why do I? As you can probably tell, I’m still on this journey of learning how to live by faith. I’ve made progress, but I still have a long way to go! And thank God, He will be with me each step of the way, faithfully teaching me to plunge into His promises.

God is good. God is faithful. And He loves each one of us with an everlasting love. I’m choosing to believe these things today. I hope you will join me in this wonderfully rewarding faith walk!