New Year Thoughts

Where did 2012 go? I have often wondered at how fast the years fly by as I get older. But this past year has seriously gone by in warp speed, leaving me struggling for breath and energy as the new year begins. I heard someone say that they were having trouble getting into the Christmas spirit because it seemed like we had just celebrated Christmas a couple of months ago.

I can relate.

The past year was jammed crammed full of new things: new state; new house; new community; new jobs; new church; new friends at work, church, and writing group; new clients for editing; new contracts for books. Exciting and scary at the same time. And some of the things I’d done for several years were more difficult to keep up with.

Like blogging. J

Early in September I had an offer to do a work-for-hire devotional project for Barbour Publishing, and I accepted, thinking I had plenty of time to work on it and on Calming the Storm Within. Especially as I didn’t have a specific deadline for the latter. Well, I didn’t think I did. But when the contract came for Calming a month later, my agent and I had misunderstood the editor in a conversation that took place in August. She was hoping the manuscript was ready to turn in, so it could be released as soon as possible.

Of course my people-pleasing gene stepped to the forefront and I promised a print-ready manuscript in a week. Then that pesky perfectionism raised its ugly head and proclaimed the manuscript totally unusable in its present form. My agent and the editor, among others, said to ignore those and take what time I needed to complete the manuscript well. But I still raced to finish the book—before Thanksgiving, then before the middle of December, then before Christmas, and . . . well you get the picture.

Because of the content—the subtitle is tentatively God’s Peace in Depression and Anxiety—I expected spiritual warfare. And got it. I asked for prayer on Facebook and at church. And got it. The ones who are reading it for content and grammar, punctuation, etc., have given me great feedback including how powerful it is. Which  ramped up the people-pleasing/perfectionism to new levels. Sigh.

The week before Christmas I started to fall apart—emotionally and physically. Through the weeks of writing, I prayed daily for the Lord’s direction and strength. And He gave it. But not as fast as I expected/wanted. Each day was a struggle between me, my flesh, the enemy . . . and the Lord.

Finally, the Lord got my attention during one of my morning quiet times. He reminded me once gain that His thoughts are not my thoughts; His ways don’t follow my expectations; and His timing is perfect. Nothing I was doing could change those facts. Once again I realized that many of my struggles weren’t because of the enemy—they resulted from my own attempts to speed up His timing. And that had me fearing failure to please my editor and to produce a publishable book.

But the truth is I wasn’t ready to write the last two chapters in the book. Nor was I ready to relax and enjoy the reason for Christmas as I was seeing it as more a bump in the road, a distraction.

Don’t get me wrong. I desperately wanted to see my kids again, as I hadn’t seen them in person since May. And I desperately wanted it all to be perfect, without having to rush back for Roger to be at work (no vacation days) or having the book still to complete. The warring desires left me frustrated and confused.

However, the Lord had a different lesson for me to learn. He reminded me that He was still in control; He was still working all things together for my good and His glory; and He didn’t see the task of finishing two books in the next three weeks as impossible. My part was to relax, to still my spirit, and allow Him to be God.

He kept bringing to mind Mary, the mother of Jesus. When the angel told her she’d been chosen to give birth to the Son of God, the promised Messiah, she didn’t hesitate before saying, “May it be to me as you have said.” In spite of the obvious struggles she would have, she chose to submit herself to God’s control, and she trusted Him to go before her to smooth her way. Was it easy for her? No. But she remained submissive to His will and to His timing.

God reminded me that my only responsibility was to trust Him. No matter what obstacles appeared in my path; no matter what opposition I faced; no matter what. Period. Trust and obey.  And for Christmas week, I was supposed to put the book aside and concentrate on worshiping Him and having a great time with my family.

One more lesson in learning to be content with what He has given me. Especially when it wasn’t what I expected or thought I desired.

We had a wonderful Christmas, celebrating with my sister’s family in Nebraska. Kathy flew in from London, Randy and Nikki drove over from Colorado, and we drove up from Missouri. This year my brother and sister-in-law were unable to make it as they are full-time caregivers for her parents. But we were able to Skype with them—so thankful for the technology that allows for us to share moments like this.

When we returned to Missouri, I expected the Lord to tell me it was time to get back to work on Calming. (I really need to get those “expectations” under control!) But He didn’t. Instead He had me work on the book-for-hire project and bringing my prayer journals up-to-date on my electronic copies.

My birthday is New Year’s Eve, and I like to take that day or several days to reflect on the past year’s events and my personal spiritual progress. That leads into the upcoming year and what goals I believe the Lord would have me pursue. I don’t really make resolutions, but a brand-new year presents a blank slate that is waiting to be filled. Some of the events are already in place—like the releases of my first nonfiction book, Calming the Storm Within; my first fiction in April, A Shelter from the Storm in Sundays in Fredericksburg (TX); and the book-for-hire project, Encouraging Words for Women: Hope. Along with that comes a lot of marketing and promotion in various venues. Some is already in place.

At the end of November, my new author website went live. It combines my writing and editing services, and it will soon include a new blog and resource page for Calming the Storm Within. You can see it at www.marjorievawter.com. Many, many thanks to my friends Bonnie Calhoun, and Jon and Bruce at SKWD Ministries who made it happen!

I will soon have an author page on Facebook to go along with my personal page. And I hope to learn how to use Twitter more effectively in the next few months. So I have plenty to keep me busy in the months ahead. So many new things, new experiences. More opportunities to trust the Lord to provide and work in His timing and in His way.

The old year is past . . . the new is before me.   

And God is still the God of the impossible. Working His will and His plans and purposes for me, in me, and through me.

“Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward--to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.” (Philippians 3:13–14 msg)

New Website

Lots of good things have going on in the background as we finish up this year and look forward to 2013. First, since I have three books releasing next year—not bad for a first-time-to-be-published author!—I have a new website, Discovering Foundations of Truth.

The guys at SKWD Ministries have done an awesome job with the design and teaching me how to maintain a website—what they use is SUPER easy! Something I value since my time is limited. I still have some tweaking to do and material/info to add, but it's a good start. It also includes my editing service and a link to this blog. 

My first nonfiction, Calming the Storm Within: God's Peace in Depression and Anxiety, will release in the first few months of 2013 from OakTara. This book comes from my experiences growing up with a father who would now be considered bipolar. Twenty years ago I was working, with the Lord's help, my way out of my own severe clinical depression. The idea to write this book came shortly after that. But I didn't get serious about pulling it together until about 15 years ago. In 2004 my agent, Joyce Hart, took me on and started trying to sell it. Don't know how many rejections or expressions of no interest we got on it then, but it was a ton! Very discouraging. Most publishers wanted me to be at least a licensed counselor but it would be better if I were a psychologist. But that wasn't the focus of the book, and after praying about it, we tabled the proposal. Then last year, I met Ramona Tucker, an editor/publisher at OakTara. She showed a decided interest in the book when I pitched the idea. Joyce sent her the proposal . . . and we waited. Lots went on in both Ramona's and my life. When I saw her at the Colorado conference in May this year, she remembered me and the book proposal. And I received the promise of a contract to publish this book. Wow! 

It has been interesting going back and writing/editing the material I already had. Some had to be updated since I wrote it at least eight years ago. I've taught the material in a small group Bible study, which provided much of the already written portion. I still have three chapters to complete, and the journey of getting it ready for publication has been challenging, interesting, and exciting. The Lord is already working good in those who are reading/critiquing the chapters as I get it done. Many more have expressed an interest in buying the book when it comes out. I don't know the exact publication date yet, but I will announce it here when I do know.

My first fiction also debuts this year in April. A Shelter from the Storm is one of four novellas in Sundays in Fredericksburg (TX) from Barbour Publishing. It's historical romance with a touch of mystery/suspense in it. Here's the blurb: Mildred Zimmermann, a nurse in World War I Europe, returns to Fredericksburg, Texas, which is dealing with an outbreak of Spanish influenza. Drawn into the hometown battle, Mildred opens her family’s Sunday house as an overflow to the small, overcrowded clinic. Death seems to plague those she loves, and she is determined not to allow herself to fall in love, afraid that man, too, would die. Nelson Winters, a newcomer to Fredericksburg and the protégé of the town’s doctor, succumbs to the flu, and he is placed in Mildred’s care. The war hero, rejected by his fiancée because he returned from the war crippled, both challenges and disturbs Mildred as she nurses him back to health. In order for them to have a future together, they must learn to accept their humanness and allow God to make them whole.

Finally, I have a devotional book on Hope in the Encouraging Words series from Barbour coming out next year. It's a work-for-hire project, meaning my name won't be on the front of the book. The deadline to turn the manuscript in is mid-January, so I've already started work on it. However, the bulk of the work will be after I finish Calming the Storm Within. 

God has been so good to allow me to realize my publishing dreams. I never expected it to come all at once like it has, but He doesn't usually work in the ways we expect. So many people have been instrumental in getting me here, and I know there will be many more in the future. We writers like to think this is a lonely occupation, and it is at times. But in reality there are a whole bunch of people involved in the making of one book. When I first realized what that meant, I wanted to give up because that meant I would have to "put myself out there," self-promote in other words. My shyness and natural introvertedness put up major walls. So I asked the Lord that if this was the route He wanted for me, He would have to open the doors, put me in the way of the people I needed to know, etc. And He did! It truly amazes me. 

I will still continue with my editing service as the Lord has made it clear that He desires me to continue. It will be on a much lesser level of projects than I've had in the past, but I look forward to those projects He sends my way. I'm sure there will be more new adventures ahead as I continue to follow the Lord in this writing/publishing adventure.    

So please go check out my new website here, and leave me a message through the contact form.