An
interview with Darla Weaver,
Author
of Gathering of Sisters
Once a week Darla Weaver hitches up her
spirited mare, bundles her children into the buggy, and drives six miles to the
farm where she grew up. There she gathers with her four sisters and their
children for a day with their mother. In Gathering
of Sisters: A Year with My Old Order Mennonite Family (Herald Press),
Weaver writes about her horse-and-buggy Mennonite family and the weekly women’s
gatherings that keep them connected. On warm days, the children play and fish
and build houses of hay in the barn. In the winter, everyone stays close to the
woodstove, with puzzles and games and crocheting. No matter the weather, the
Tuesday get-togethers of this Old Order Mennonite family keep them grounded and
centered in their love for God and for each other, even when raising an
occasional loving but knowing eyebrow at each other.
The rest of the week is full of laundry, and
errands, and work that never ends. But Tuesday is about being sisters,
daughters, and mothers.
Q: Gathering of Sisters tells about getting
together weekly with your mother and sisters. Tell us a little bit about your
family.
There were five of us sisters, growing up together with our
four little brothers in the white farmhouse our parents built. The nine of us
kept this five-bedroom house brimming with life, and crowded with both
happiness and some inevitable sadness. We did a lot of living and a lot of
learning in that house.
And then we all grew up.
I was the first to leave. On a warm and sunshiny day in
September 2000, after the leaves on the lofty silver maples had faded from
summer-green and before they wore brightly flaming autumn shades, I was married
to Laverne Weaver. It was the first wedding in that mellowing white house we
all called home. Four more were to follow in the next several years. Except for
my youngest brother, we’ve all left home. Most of us live close, but one
brother lives in Alaska.
Q: Why did you
decide to make an effort to get together once a week?
That left Tuesdays.
Tuesday really was the perfect in-between sort of day to spend with Mom and my
sisters. On Tuesday the five us sisters still come home. We pack up the
children—all eighteen of them during summer vacation—and head to the farm.
We go early. I
drive my spirited little mare, Charlotte, and she trots briskly along the six
miles of winding country roads. Regina and Ida Mae live much closer. They
married brothers, and their homes are directly across the fields from Dad and
Mom’s farm. They usually bike, with children’s noses pressed against the bright
mesh of the carts they tow behind their bicycles. Or they walk, pushing
strollers over the back fields and up the lane. And Emily and Amanda, who also
married brothers and live in neighboring houses about five miles away, come
together with everyone crammed into one carriage.
Q: Do all the kids
enjoy Tuesdays as well?
The children love Tuesdays. On warm days they play on the slide
and the swings in the cool shade of the silver maples, jump on the trampoline,
run through their grandpa’s three greenhouses, ride along on the wagon going to
the fields where produce by the bushels and bins is hauled to the packing shed.
They build hay houses in the barn and explore the creek. The boys take poles
and hooks and bait and spend hours fishing and playing in the small creek that
flows beneath the lane and through the thickets beside the pasture fence. They
catch dozens of tiny blue gills and northern creek chubbs, most of which they
release back into the water hole, a deep pool that yawns at the mouth of a
large culvert, to be caught again next week. They work too, at mowing lawn,
raking, lugging flower pots around, or anything else that Grandma needs them to
do, but most often Tuesdays on Grandpa’s farm are play days.
Q: What do you do
when you are all gathered together?
Every day is
different, yet every Tuesday follows a predictable pattern that varies with the
seasons. Winter finds us inside, close to the
warmth humming from the woodstove, absorbed in wintertime pursuits which
include card-making, crocheting, sewing, puzzles—jigsaw, crossword, sudoku—and
reading books and magazines. But as soon as spring colors the buds of the
maples with a reddish tinge, we spend more time outside. The greenhouses are
loaded with plants, the flowerbeds full of unfurling perennials, and the grass
is greening in the yard again.
In summer, while the garden and fields burst with produce,
the breezy shade of the front porch calls. It wraps around two sides of the
house and is full of Mom’s potted plants and porch furniture. We sit there to
shell peas, husk corn, or just sip a cold drink and cool off after a warm
stroll through the flowers.
Then autumn echoes through the country, the leaves flame and
fall, and we rake them up—millions of leaves. Where we rake one Tuesday is
covered again by the next, until at last the towering maples stand disrobed of
leaves, their amazing seventy-foot branches a wavering fretwork against a sky
that is sullen with winter once more.
Q: How did your
sisters react to the news about you writing this book?
The initial reactions
varied.
“I suppose you
would change all our names,” Mom said after a while.
That was a new
thought for me, and one I didn’t want to consider. “Oh, no, that would be much
too hard. We would just use every one’s real name.” Merely the thought of
renaming eighteen children exhausted me.
“Oh, yes, I won’t
write anything you wouldn’t like,” I promised.
“She will still
have to claim us as sisters,” Regina points out, as usual finding a positive
angle to the topic. “She won’t make us sound too odd or ornery or anything.”
Regina’s
oldest daughter, Jerelyn, who at fourteen has graduated from eighth grade and
is again spending Tuesdays with us, considered staying home for the entire next
year to keep her name out of the book. But on a whole, no one really objected.
Like Laverne and our children, Mom and my sisters are almost used to my
compulsive scribbling. Almost.
Now
onto some frequently asked questions about life in Mennonite communities.
Q: What does daily
life look like for a Mennonite?
In some ways being a Mennonite is not so different from
being anyone else. We have one life to live, we work to make a living, take
care of our families, make time for the things we enjoy, eat, sleep, pay our
bills and taxes. Some days are better than others as for anyone else.
In other ways it’s vastly different from the culture around
us. Partly in the conservative way we live; perhaps even more in the way we
look at life.
The most important goals for most of us are: Faith in God
and in his Son who died on the cross for sinners; growing into a closer walk
with him; learning to love, serve, and obey his commandments. These beliefs
help shape our lives as we grow older.
Old Order Mennonite life is family-oriented. It centers
around our church, our families, our schools and neighborhoods. It has been
said, “Destroy the home and you destroy the nation,” which has been proved true
in various eras of history. God’s plan for one husband and one wife, working
together to care for their children, is a most important foundation for our
lifestyle.
But, of course, we are far from perfect. Although the
majority of us strive to live lives that demonstrate a faith and love and
steadfastness rooted deep in God and his word—the Bible—we make plenty of
mistakes too. Stumbling and falling and getting up to try again, praying that
God will help us do better tomorrow, is a part of life, too.
Q: Do Old Order
Mennonites believe in the new birth?
Of course. We believe the Bible truth: “Except a man be born
again, he cannot see the kingdom of God” (John 3:3).
It is when one believes that Jesus Christ is the Son of God
that God’s Spirit comes into one’s heart. It is by repenting of and turning
away from our sins that they can be forgiven. It is by faith in God’s power,
and asking in prayer, help us break away from sin’s strongholds. And it is
because of that new birth that we desire to live a life that God can bless and
sanctify.
But those who grow up in Christian homes may not always be
able to pinpoint a certain day or year when their new birth occurred. To say,
“When were you born again?” is a little like asking, “When did you grow up?”
Sometimes there is a specific date to remember. Just as often there isn’t,
because we grew so gradually into the awareness of our need for a personal
Savior.
Was there ever a time I didn’t know and believe that Jesus
Christ is the Son of God who came to die for my sins? If so, I can’t remember
it. I did have to come to the place where I was willing to accept that for
myself, acknowledge all the sin in my life, and turn to God for help and
forgiveness. That day came, gradually. When I asked Christ into my heart to be
Ruler there, it led to more years of growing up, and into what it means to be
one of his disciples.
When I was born physically I still had much to learn. When I
was born again spiritually I had just as much to learn about living a
Christ-centered life. I’m still learning about it. I imagine I’ll be learning
more for as long as I live.
Q: What could a
visitor expect at one of your church services?
Church services last around 2 to 2 ½ hours and are in the
Pennsylvania Dutch dialect, although the Bible reading is done in German. They begin
with everyone singing together. One of the ministers then has a short sermon,
which is followed by silent prayer. Then a second minister explains a chapter
from the New Testament, or part of a chapter that he had selected and studied
previously. Services are closed with an audible prayer, more singing, and the
benediction.
It’s a special time of singing, praying, and worshiping God
together with our congregation, and is full of encouragement and inspiration.
Q: Throughout most
of the country, we would find most businesses open at least part of the day on
Sunday. Would we find any businesses in your community open on Sunday?
“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt
though labour and do all thy work” (Exodus 20:8-9).
When Sunday comes around, those of us who own businesses do
close them, and most of our work is put aside. Sunday is kept as a day to go to
church to worship God, then spend it socializing with family and friends. It is
a day to get together for meals, visit families who have a new baby, or just
relax at home.
Sometimes when it’s warm we go fishing or hiking at nearby
state parks or in our own woods. Sometimes we go on picnics or visit the
neighbors. In the evening, the youth group gathers at one of their homes to
play volleyball, sing and eat.
Sunday is set aside for worship, rest, and family time. It’s
refreshing, both spiritually and physically, to have one day each week reserved
for that. Work almost always waits. Worshiping God is first priority, then
being with family.
Q: What kind of
activities are your youth groups involved in?
Most of the young people are part of a structured youth
group that gathers each Sunday evening in one of their homes. If it’s warm they
play volleyball before singing hymns. A snack is served, unless everyone is
invited for supper, then an entire meal is served. This can be quite an
undertaking for the hostess, depending on the size of the group.
While Sunday evening gatherings are a regular thing, there
are sometimes “work bees” during the week, when they get together to help
someone who needs it. They might go to sing at a nursing home, go skating in
winter, fishing in summer, or other upbuilding activities.
The majority of the young people are a part of this group
and are dedicated to serving God. However, the upper teen years can be hard
whether you’re Mennonite or not, and there are always some who drift away and
choose not to live as part of our culture.
Q: Can you tell us
about your private schools?
Parochial schools are a vital part of our neighborhoods.
Three men serve as the school board for each one, and they are in charge of
hiring teachers, handling the financial part of running a school, upkeep of the
building, and any other need that comes up. They serve in three-year terms and
are up for one re-election at the regular yearly community meeting where all
directors and trustees for various things are selected.
Most schoolhouses have two classrooms and two teachers. The
number of children attending each one varies greatly. Parents pay a yearly
tuition which covers the teachers’ pay, books and supplies, and building
repairs.
Most children start first grade in September after their
sixth birthday. They graduate after completing eighth grade.
Each school day starts with a Bible story, reciting the
Lord’s prayer together and singing. Lessons include, but are not limited to,
reading, writing, math, spelling, English, vocabulary, history, geography, some
science and nature study. Curriculum varies a little from school to school and
from one area to the next, but these are the basics.
Religion is not taught as a subject. Rather, faith in God,
and Christian living as based on the Bible, is woven into almost every textbook
and lesson. It’s a way of life for us and can’t be separated into a single
subject.
About the Author
Darla
Weaver is a homemaker, gardener, writer and Old
Order Mennonite living in the hills of southern Ohio. She is the author of Water My Soul, Many Lighted Windows and Gathering of Sisters. Weaver has written
for Family Life, Ladies Journal, Young Companion, and other
magazines for Amish and Old Order Mennonite groups. Before her three children
were born she also taught school. Her hobbies are gardening and writing.
To request a review copy of Gathering of Sisters or for excerpt
information, please contact Audra Jennings, ajenningspr@gmail.com.
Margie's Comments:
Reading this book opened up a whole new world to me, one that I'd frequently wondered about.
I loved the descriptions of the various Tuesdays spent at the author's mom's home. The writing is laid-back and calm, reflecting the quiet way the Old Order Mennonite people face the world and its everyday challenges. Their faith is integral to the way they live., which is how it should be.
I received a copy of the book free from the publicist Audra Jennings and the publisher Herald Press in exchange for this review.
Once a week Darla Weaver hitches up her
spirited mare, bundles her children into the buggy, and drives six miles to the
farm where she grew up. There she gathers with her four sisters and their
children for a day with their mother. In Gathering
of Sisters: A Year with My Old Order Mennonite Family (Herald Press),
Weaver writes about her horse-and-buggy Mennonite family and the weekly women’s
gatherings that keep them connected. On warm days, the children play and fish
and build houses of hay in the barn. In the winter, everyone stays close to the
woodstove, with puzzles and games and crocheting. No matter the weather, the
Tuesday get-togethers of this Old Order Mennonite family keep them grounded and
centered in their love for God and for each other, even when raising an
occasional loving but knowing eyebrow at each other.
About the Book: 
Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith is an author,
speaker, and board-certified physician. She has an active medical practice in
Alabama (near the Birmingham area). She received her B.S. in Biochemistry at
the University of Georgia, and graduated with honors from Meharry Medical
College in Nashville. She has been an adjunct faculty member at Baker College
and Davenport University in Michigan teaching courses on health, nutrition, and
disease progression. Dr. Dalton-Smith is a national and international media
resource on the mind, body, spirit connection and has been featured in Women's
Day, Redbook, and First For Women magazine. She is the author of "Set Free
to Live" and "Come Empty" (winner 2016 Golden Scroll Nonfiction
Book of the Year and 2016 Illumination Award Gold medalist). She is a member of
the Christian Medical and Dental Association and a repeat keynote speaker at their
annual gathering. She has shared her tips on merging faith and medicine with
over 16,000 health care professionals to encourage the current and next
generation of doctors to treat the whole person.
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